Life can be shit

 *225 at gastro, 230 at the hospital*

  The massively large blizzard with two feet of snow will not happen for us on the shoreline. We had some snow early this morning but it quickly changed over to ice and rain. That is gonna be fun to clean up. We will have to go out in it while it is still relatively warm so it doesnt completely freeze. Ugh

 I started this blog post before the blizzard. Stuff got in the way and I never got to it to finish it. Oh well. Then life shit all over us. Let me get a coffee while you watch Jenna put rhinestones on her face.....Okay, I am back. Instead of another cup of coffee, I made myself a horking big salad. That is how I roll at 10am. I went to get the cream and forgot I bought a rotisserie chicken breast the other day. Salad it is! I have been eating alot of crap lately and not following the way I have to be eating. I have not fallen completely off the rails but... cookies and crap have happened. I have to just do this one day at a time and fight the urges to eat garbage. It is my addiction to sugar and wheat that I am fighting. So this morning I will start off with a mixed green salad with half avocado, cut up chicken, a couple cherry tomatoes, a tablespoon of blue cheese, and some dressing. Good start to the day. At noon, I have an appointment to get a massage. A well deserved one after the last week I have had.

This is my poor Jeepo. She is totaled. She is no more. Last Friday, a guy veered in front of me as I was going straight and we had a head on collision. Kid #2 was my passenger. We are sore from the accident but no broken bones thankfully. We have a rental until the total loss paperwork goes through. That could be about 2 weeks. Our mechanic has gotten his license to sell cars. He has been going to the auctions to get for him to sell. He is going to get us a new to us SUV and only charges us a small finders fee. He will be able to check the vehicle to make sure it is not a piece of shit. We are hoping for another Jeep but we have a few specifics that we asked for. He goes every Wednesday, we gave him money for the auction, and he will text us when he sees something. If we do not get anything next week, we can get something the following week. I dont want to wait for the check for the total. Let`s just get something so I do not have to drive the Nissan aka clown car around. She is a good old car but she is rickety and 16 years old. I do not want to kill her. That is why I am glad we have the rental.

  And the other shoe is health wise. So I went to have a mammogram and have my Thyroid biopsied. Insurance is going away so might as well get these things done. Next day I get the call. I have to redo my mammogram which is not a big deal to me at that point. The girls are dense and I always have to have a redo. But I stupidly went on MyChart to check my appointment times. My boobs have two appointments. One for a mammo redo. One for my left breast only for an ultrasound. That does not make me happy at all. The second part of the phone call was about my thyroid. It seems that the nodule (or more) have grown to the point that I need a biopsy. That is next Monday. I am scared shitless of needles in my throat. Shitless! I have finally figured out a few things though. The swallowing issue I have been having that is not my esophagus is most likely my thyroid. And my itching is most likely my thyroid. I worry that they will want to remove it. I am not worried about cancer with the thyroid because that is a very remote possibility and if it is, it is one of the easiest cancers to survive.  So yeah. Life is shit right now.

And it is fucking cold! It is Spring and it is freezing.

I gotta go. I took too long to write this and I still have to take a shower before my massage. I will report back on Monday after the biopsy unless I have died of fright.

Namaste

March Bleezard 2017

Picture courtesy of Southern Connecticut Weather on FB

*22-something* <---I have been eating better but I haven't weighed so I have no idea

    Fucking Blizzard! Are you kidding me? I am not in the mood for 18 inches of anything right now. Because of there we are on the map, we will get dumped on. Like 20 inches locally they are saying. Not in the Mood, I tell ya. We did find some rock salt at the last place we called. We have a bucket on the porch that is always full. It is down to the dregs and that would have not been enough to satisfy me for this storm. We have food and flash lights and kerosene just in case. I am going to go to the store super early so that I can pick up foods for cooking. We are going to do a roasted butternut squash soup. Part in the oven, the other half in the crockpot. We will roast a big chicken with potatoes and carrots. Also mashed cauliflower. I will pick up some raw veggies and dip and we need a couple boxes of tea for when it is blowing cold and we want to sip while we look out the window.

   Of course the new furnace is acting up just before a storm. We have four zones. The zone to the first floor is not clicking on. We do have the basement zone though so the heat can rise up to warm us up. It just sucks. I texted the furnace dude to see if he can come around tomorrow before the storm, if he is available. It is much warmer up here now. i went down there, turned up the heat, pulled stuff away from the registers, and did some laundry while I waited. I came upstairs after about 15 minutes and it is not as cold as it was. I was wondering why it was so fucking cold when the heat was on, the furnace was kicking on, and we have oil. It seems we have more trouble with the new furnace then we do when we had the 30 yr old one. Isnt that always the way?

 Our new fridge came on Friday. We did have some snow earlier in the day but it never stuck to the pavement so the drivers were able to bring her. She is a Frigidaire Gallery Stainless Steel baby. We went with a local appliance place so we did not pay as much as Home Depot was charging. She is beautiful and she purrs like a kitten, sort of.  They took away the old one and I am happy. The old one did us justice but she was freezing stuff in the fridge. I had tried to fix that by unplugging the fridge to see if a line had frozen. It would work for a little while but then it would freeze up again. It was time. We have the money to buy it so I just pulled the plug. Surprisingly, the floor underneath was not that horrid. Lots of bottle caps from the cat but it didn't make me want to run screaming from the room.

  My stretches and not using more then one pillow has helped alot with my arm falling asleep and hurting. I am not saying it is 100% cause that would just jinx it but it feels damn close. Getting rid of the high pillow for a flatter one has helped the Hubs too. If you suffer from neck pain, think about going to just one flat pillow. You will be surprised at how you feel. I also have to say that I am liking the new electric toothbrush. It is making my teeth nice and sparkly. I have to also keep my blood sugars down more. I am eating less crap but I have not cut out completely. It is like I lose my mind when I am hungry. I really need to just eat more fat. Eat more fat. Eat more fat! EAT MORE FAT! Ugh. I think the stresses of life are part of the reason I cannot fully commit to LCHF at this time. But I have to do it. I have to. I dont want to lose my teeth. I do not want to lose my eyesight. I just have to be stronger. It sounds insane and unhealthy to some but I have to really analyze every mouthful for awhile. If I do not eat enough fat, I will fall off the wagon. I will hard boil some eggs and fat bombs tomorrow.

  Otherwise my health is good. I feel okay. I am moving along in my life. I have been walking more. I can do a mile in 25 minutes. As it gets warmer, we will want to add on and do two miles. I will map it out online. If you have not seen it before, I have used Walk Jog Run for that. You can map out walks in your town and know how far it is. They even do stuff like the grade of the walk as to how many calories you are burning. It is pretty cool. The mile was easy. Two miles will be a little harder. We shall see how far we can get by the Fall. I want to go slow so I dont kill my feet. I need to buy some inserts for my sneakers too. Just to be on the safe side. I am really trying to get myself into better shape so that I can live a bit longer on this Earth. Plus I get to spend time with the kid and she gets healthy too.

  That is about it. I have no gardening stuff to talk about because of the snow. I am doing more decluttering but nothing amazing. A book here or there. A knic knac or two. They all go to donations and hopefully happy homes. I am done with the clutter. I dont want my family to have to figure out how to get rid of all my shit. So I will do it for them. It is my gift to them. Hopefully I will have more garden and plant talk next Sunday or Monday.  Have a great week and if you are gonna have some snow, I hope you are safe!

Teeth Scraping and a Change of Heart

*228*

OMG! Two posts in a row must be some kind of record!

  This morning at 8am, I had my tooth cleaning. It was agony and a blood bath as per usual. I also found out that my periodontal disease has gotten worse!  I had done so good last year with eating correctly and I had healed some of my gum/teeth issues. If you have periodontal disease, then you know what I mean. Lots of 4s and 5s in that count today. I am not a happy camper. I bit the bullet and purchased a Sonicare brush. It will help immensely with helping save my teeth. I am going to have either no dental or limited dental insurance for I dont know how long. This morning was the wake up call that I needed.

  Eat low carb high fat. Save your teeth and the bones that hold them in your face! Diabetes is a helluva drug, I tell you. I am also ruining my eyesight with the cataracts by not following this way of eating.  Seriously though, I have cried wolf on this before the last couple months. Waaa! I cannot stick to the lchf WOE. Waaa! I gained 8 lbs! Well, bitch, you are ruining yourself on the inside. You will look like a broke bitch with no teeth if you keep this shit up!

 I bought the pink one, of course. She cost me $150. I think I will pay the price to save my teeth from mass destruction. I will use her tonight after my gums heal from the catastrophe of this morning.  It is a Sonicare DiamondClean Professional Series. It has bells and whistles. I will use it and let you all know how it goes.

  Yeah, I think this morning was a revelation. She was counting my teeth and shooting out numbers for the assistant to write down. There were hardly any 1s 2s or 3s like 6 months ago. In 4 months, I am right back where I started with my teeth. Keeping the blood sugars in check are one of my major arsenals in living a relatively good life in one piece. With Periodontal Disease, you have bone loss under your teeth. That bone is what holds you teeth in your face. I do not have any wiggle but if you can wiggle your teeth, that is a bad sign. I have been wearing a night guard for about 2 years now. I used to have the kind the dentist makes for you, but Ruby got hold of it when she was a puppy. $200 down the drain. I was able to find a good one in the pharmacy. It is called Dentek mouth guards. I use the full guard for max protection. You use hot water to mold it. I have had this same one for over a year. Saves your teeth immensely.  I am a major grinder of my teeth. This stopped it cold. It does take a couple nights to get used to it, but once you have used it on a regular basis, you cannot sleep without it. There is no more tooth shift when you wake up on the morning.

  So.  I am most definitely back to eating Keto/banting/lchf. No more cheating. No more french fries cause they are only a potato. No more sugar. No more allowing myself to be lead to eat those things. I am done. My first goal is to get back down to 219. After I reach that goal, I will decide what else I am going to do.
Oh yeah. I forgot. I started this supplement by Now called Gymnena Sylvestre. It is used by diabetics to help with metabolism and keeping blood sugars in check. I was going to see if it works. People use it to block sugar but I doubt that actually works. I want to see if it helps with pancreas function. If it doesnt work for me, it is probably cause my pancreas cells are basically wiped out and I will be on the needle till I know longer walk this Earth. That sounded grim. Dont take it that way. That is the way I talk. I will discuss the supplement at a later time. I started it this week so too early to tell.

   I got some Oracle cards this past weekend.  They are my first set. They called to me actually. I went into the local shop to see if they had any bronzite (nobody does!), and I poked around and this one caught my eye. It is very accurate with me so I guess we chose each other well. I do not know if I am going to do this for anyone else, or just do it for me. I have to familiarize myself with how to read cards and the spread. I like doing it for myself because it helps give me some guidance in really big things I have to think about. I purchased well.

  After that scraping and my big breakfast/lunch, I am definitely ready for a nap of some type. I woke up super early and it is just gloomy outside. I have some major cleaning to do but I think I will rest up first before I do that.
Have a good rest of your week. Let`s hope for NO SNOW!

 

Cheeto Cravings

*228* <---I weighed this past weekend. I still have some weight to go.

  I ate a half a bag of Cheetos. I had a stress filled day of doing stuff and I caved. But I dont feel badly. I only ate half. I could have devoured the entire bag. Oh. I ate a donut too.
 This is going to be a short post because it is 815pm, I have to change my clothes, wash up, and go to bed early. I have a 8am dentist appt cleaning. I HATE getting my tartar scraped. It is right up there with migraines. Dont like it. Dont want it. But I will do it. We have insurance until the end of April. We are cramming in all we can before it is gone and we have to go on State (until one of us gets a job with benefits).

  We ran around today and got stuff done. Made appointments for all at the dentist, Kid #2 for the eye doctor and primary. Drove hither and yon to get it all done. Dropped the nissan off at the mechanic to have her worked over. She needs all four of her shocks replaced. She is also going to get two new tires. We are getting stuff done that has to be done so that we do not have to worry about it.

  I have been paying all the bills down to 0. I have not had a 0 balance on anything in years. It feels good. It feels adult. Look at Me! I am adulting. It takes a tragedy of job loss to get me to do the right thing. LMAO Not really . We just have the cash on hand to get all these things accomplished. We are going to have all the plugs replaced this week on the 1st floor and I am going to start painting the living room. I promised myself, I would not pick a color for the kitchen until the livingroom is done. It has to be done. It has waited to fucking long. I did the trim before the winter so now it is time to paint the walls. I have been doing alot of decluttering. Every week, I pick a few things and donate them or toss them. Some things do not deserve to have another owner. It feels good to purge. And I have been good to not add to the herd.

   It is cold. It is cold. It might snow on Sunday (BOO!) and I am dry and itchy. Other then the complaint side of that and the bloat from the Cheetos, I am doing ok. I know I said I am sticking to the LCHF and for the most part I kind of am.  I do not want to gain weight. I am bargaining with myself. I think I need to send out my intentions to my higher power to help me be stronger when it comes to my food choices. Junk is the enemy. I have to stop. I feel good when I eat whole foods. I dont want to feel like garbage. But I keep falling back into it when I have a stressful day, like today. Or I have others trying to influence me. I should not completely blame them for my choices because again....I am an adult. But you all know what I mean. I need to be stronger!

  I have not heard from the job for an interview but that is because the hiring person was on vacation last week. I have faith that I will hear something. If I do not hear from them, I will look for something else that is comparable. But I have a good feeling. I feel like I could get an real life in person interview. We shall see.

Okay. yeah. I am bloated from the Cheetos. I need to go stretch out and bitch at myself for my poor choices. At least my dinner was compliant. Baked chicken, steamed broccoli with cheese, and a big salad.

Gonna go now. If anything fun happens this week, I will add an extra posting.

Keep warm!