Was that a blizzard?

*232*

We had blizzard warnings. We had coastal flood warnings. We had fools buying up all the french toast supplies. It was gonna be Snowapolis!! It was for many many many. Jersey shore was flooded. D.C., Maryland, and nyc got feet not inches.
Our little neck of the woods got 4 inches. I think it is cause I really prayed hard. I was not in the mood for full scale shoveling. We may get another storm on Thursday but we best not. It is the Man`s 50th birthday and we have plans.
 I am trying to eat some breakfast this morning. My gut has been ick the past few days so this morning I have 2 scrambled, microwave cup eggs, a 8oz cup of plain kefir, and a bottle of water. Yeah I just threw the eggs away. I will stick with the kefir this morning.  My gut is like an amusment park. Tons of fun until you puke. 
  First week of Feb will be fun. I get to have a routine mammo and a roto rooter. Upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Yummmm!
   * I am irritated because my period is late and I dont feel good in the gut and the house is a mess. Watch out. I might bitch!*
   I was told by the gut dr that I caught the C-Diff too easily so that could mean there is a underlying reason. She threw out Inflammatory Bowel Disease aka Crohns or Colitis but I dont shoot blood out my butt so I think that could be a no. I worry what the underlying reason could be. I am being good and not dwelling on that. I might also have a esophageal stritcher which will need to be tapered. I have been having issues with food getting stuck in my upper chest when I swallow. I had a small ulcer and esophageal irritation two years ago, so we shall see if that has gotten worse. She is concerned that I am not back to normal yet and I am still losing weight.
All I know is all of my clothes are hanging on me. My favorite pants dont fit at all. I have not gone out yet to buy new sizes but if this weight loss is a trend, I will have to. 

  I am doing things to make me happy. I have been watching some shows on hulu and netflix. I have been making arm scarves. And I have been resting my body when I need. I have realized I have to do for me now. I dont know how much longer I have on this Earth. Could be decades, years, or months. I want to make the most of every moment. And if I am a skinny bitch in the process, so be it.

I hope you have a great week!

Who needs food?

*232*


Low Fat (no dairy too)
Low Fiber
Low Sodium
Diabetic

 Oh yeah. That looks like a fun time. My breakfast/lunch included 2 eggs scrambled with no dairy or fat, 1 slice of white toast dry, and 8 oz of plain kefir. Dinner will be a half cup of white rice and I am going to try some ahi tuna. I will have to eat some cooked carrots which I hate hate hate but I dont want to get sick.
 The list is more extensive but I dont want to depress you. I have to also give up coffee. All the foods I shouldnt eat in the Fat and Fiber realm hurt me so badly. Bad enough that I will not cheat. At all. I promise.
I had my appt with the gastro moved up to next week cause I dont think I can suffer another month without seeing him.

That is all. I am moody and dont wanna talk. More at another time

It`s a new year..new meh.

*232* <--wasting awayyyyyy awayyyyyy!

    Happy Happy 2016 to you all. I just celebrated my 47th year on the planet yesterday. We went out for Vietnamese Pho and I had cake. It was a good day. 
  I wanted to wait a bit before I posted because I didn't want to post all the negative crap over and over. I was really sick. I am still not well in the gut but I am better. My incisions hurt when I roll over but otherwise they have healed well. I am still not able to eat alot of different foods and that explains the weight loss. It is good to lose the weight. I am happy for it. I am only 21 lbs from my goal. Just a bittersweet way to lose it. I will not get into gross specifics but my gut will not be well for a long time.

    I had some reflection after all of this. My stubborn ass didn't die. I was in the hospital, close to crashing but I didn't. This means something. I have to make more time for myself. I have to make more time for my man. I have to do what I want with nobody making me try to change. I have to open up to new things and I have to let some shit go. I have been holding on to some old friendships that have disintegrated in the hopes that they can be revived. One in particular. It has been a year since she ended our 7 year online friendship. I have given myself permission to let that sister go. I will always love her but I just cant keep being upset that she doesn't love or care about me. She has her reasons. And I now have mine. I have wasted too much with hope for that. I am closing that door. 

  I just put the sweet potatoes in to roast and I am stupidly eating one of my bon bons I made at Christmas. I will pay dearly for that later.

 Our weather has finally become seasonal. We havent had a snow storm yet but it will come. There is the El nino which is giving all of us a weird winter. My hope is we get hardly any snow. We were slammed so bad the past two years that we deserve a snow break. I hope I get my wish. 

One plan is to get me a new laptop very soon. I was able to get Kid #2 one very cheaply for Christmas so I know I can scout me out one too. Enough of this fucked up keyboard!  That is about all I gotta say right now. I see the gastro at the end of this month and I will know more about my gut. If I am quiet, it is because I dont want to sprinkle the negative everywhere.


I hope you all have a good new years and I pray we all have a great 2016.