That was pleasant

In like a lion. Out like a lamb

*244*

  This past few days have been really nice. Weather and otherwise. The cold is coming back starting tonight with a bit of snow. Just a dusting, Thank God. I spent two full days chopping up ice so that the oil delivery guy can get to the side of the house safely this week. There was like 2 inch blocks of ice under all that snow. I should have taken a picture. I keep wishing for Spring!

  I started a small project that has been on my to do list. I have those two old Ethan Allen cushioned chairs. I have started one today. First coat of high gloss black is one. It smells like paint around here. I love it! I will find a nice pattern of upholstery fabric for both chairs and I will post before and afters later. I need to buy some gold leaf type paint for the front of feet. I think I really needed to do this to get me kick started into bigger projects later on. So far so good.

 I am not going to elaborate but shitty stuff has been going. So much so that it was really stressing me to the max. But a light was flashed on Friday and it got even better yesterday. I truly believe all things happen for a reason. I will elaborate more later when the shit happens. No counting chickens yet! But I think my stress levels will go down.

 This coming Thursday, I have the lump cut out of me. I am not overtly worrying cause he is pretty sure it is a fatty lipoma. There are no guarantees until he opens me up. The lidocaine cream cost me $26! I will use it once. What the hell am I gonna do with this whole tube. We still have a deductible so I had to pay full price for the shit. I had some green juice today. I am getting back into eating full on healthy. I re-watched a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. This dude does a 60 day juice fast, loses a ton of weight, got healthy, helped someone else do the same, and adopted a healthy lifestyle after that. Now, I am not doing a juice fast but I think I will drink a green juice between lunch and dinner. Stay away from the beef, pork, and dairy. Plus all the other stuff I blather on about. I have lost inches from being active and I have not gained.  I just need to stop buying crap cause that is what others want. I cannot have it in life so it has to stay out of my house. I will never fit into that purple dress!
Oh....I went to a consignment shop last week. Bought a XL Banana Republic tan safari jacket and a size 18 red raincoat from Lane Bryant. I think I spent $25 on both. They fit great and make me feel great too. Kid #2 looked at my drivers license for shits and grins (renewal next year) and she says it doesn't even look like me now. The man said I am starting to look like the old me. They made me feel happy. One drawback from all this activity...I think I am developing carpal tunnel. Both arms/hands. It is not super bad but some nights I wake up with one or both arms asleep. The other thing is it could be the new bras I bought. Cutting off circulation during the day. I may have to buy new ones when I get a chance.

  That is about it. Weather sucks. Body aches cause of it but I endure. March is right around the corner. And I am working on a project. Good Good Good.

Have a good week and I will update on Thursday/Friday.
 

Running away sounds pleasant

*244*
  It is snowing again but at this point why fight it. I just look at pictures of flowers and gardening ideas. Daylight savings time kicks in on March 9. That is not very far away if you think about it. Sick of the dirty snow.
  I have my surgeon consult appointment tomorrow bright and early. I will have to leave before the rooster. I have to make sure I have all my ducks in a row beforehand. The man took the Jeepo so I am stuck till he gets home. I wont drive the Nissan. It has issues.
 My children are 20 and 25. They are both working on over coming their issues with anxiety and depression. I am glad they are doing that. I am just tired of the whole thing at this point. They are wearing me down. I love them. I know what they go through. I am tired of being the fixer...the punching bag, the cook when the cant function, the cleaner, the step and fetcher, the taxi driver that doesn't get paid. Neither one are in any state to take care of themselves right now. I blame that on their issues and myself. I have coddled them and now I have adults that I support. I SUPPORT THEM!
     And while I do all of that...I have to avoid doing any of these things. I am stressed out to the max most days. I know that isnt good for my health.
 They don't contribute one ounce of money, time, or energy to this home. My goal is to not have them be homeless or living on somebodies couch. Work hard at getting well and work on helping me out. Jesus, I am the sickest person in the bunch but hardly get any help at all. I have to ask all the time. This is why running away sounds good right now. I get to take the Man with me. I am tired of being stressed over THEIR issues. They are adults. They need to deal with it. If they contributed financially and otherwise..I would probably have other reasons to complain (eye roll) but this would be okay. I would not stress cause I just spent $8 on pads for THEM <---never offered to pay.

  I need therapy but cannot afford it right now. I will just wallow until I can. Wish me luck for tomorrow. Hopefully it is a fat lump that is no big deal.

Quarter of a Century

it has chunks in it.

*244*

   My oldest is 25 years old today. She is a true adult in my eyes now. I am surprised that I really do not feel *old* today. I guess it will sink in later. She is having a strawberry cake with strawberry filling and vanilla frosting. Red roses all around the top. Very pretty looking. Since it is SNOWING again, we will cook dinner here at the house.
 Valentines was just another day. We love each other all year long, why do we have to prove it cause the calendar says we have to. Blah on that! I did buy a heart of chocolate and I did eat way more than I should have. That was yesterday. Today is a different day. I am going to eat sensibly all day but I will have a piece of cake later today after dinner. Oh yes I will.

  Yup...more snow. More shoveling. But it is going to warm up next week so I think I am good for my surgeon appt.  A friend I have not seen in about a year made my day. We saw each other at the pharmacy. She let me know that my hard work is showing. I really needed that. Family has to say nice things to you. Outsiders do not. Thanks so much for that girlie!

That is about it. I have a dishes to wash and I need to start marinating the meat for dinner. So have a great weekend and safe travels!

Dreaming of Spring

*245*

 It is almost 8am. Coffee machine just beeped to tell me it is done brewing and it is steadily snowing out there this morning.Good idea to cancel my surgical consult cause there is alot of it out there. It is supposed to warm up later this a.m. and turn over to rain. I hope it does not freeze too bad. The man has to work. Seems there is a roadway salt shortage for some cities and towns in the state. I bet the damn hill will be a nightmare.  Spring...I just think of Spring.

  Today for our storm cooking extravaganza we are having French onion soup. <----I have posted a recipe before and there it is. I picked up a bottle of red wine (merlot this time) and a dollars worth of sliced gruyere cheese yesterday. It is going to be yummy. I will have to make something else for dinner, cause the girls will not eat it. That is strictly soup for me and my honey.
I am also going to bake oatmeal cookies. It has become a theme this winter.We get a plowable snow, I warm the house by baking cookies. I wish I could say that the snow looks pretty. Visually right now it does, but I hate it so much that I cannot give it the cred that it deserves. It is cold and I hate it.

  I have not been to the gym all week. I have been active but not gym active. Too many things going on at same time as when I go. I know I could go at a different time but I am picky like that. I like to go in the morning. Start off my day correctly. I will go back starting on Monday. Tomorrow will be too much of a bitch to navigate. 

I know I am just babbling. Nothing important going on today. Soup and snow..WooHoo! I am going to dive into another cup of coffee and then start slicing onions.

Stay safe and warm!

Grocery Shopping is for the birds

*245*

  Blogger is acting wonky today so we shall see how much of this I get done. I slept in this morning. I had a dream (nightmare) that I had adopted 2 puppies. Puppies that would become big dogs. Yeah, that was a nightmare. For the past few days I have been in a really bad mood. I have my date to meet with the surgeon about my leg on V day, all this cold, everything is covered in ice, and other life stuff. Just getting me down. The man and I went to the casino yesterday. We had Frank Pepe`s Pizza. Oh yeah..that is some good shit. We walked around. We lost some money. And then I bought this month`s Alex and Ani open bracelet, Love.  I received two of these bracelets at Christmas. I just had to have another. $20 for a gold bracelet can really lift your spirits.
  Today is usually lazy day but that happened yesterday. So after a couple cups of coffee, I have cleaning and grocery shopping to do. I usually get the shopping done on Friday but I just wasnt feeling it. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood. I know is necessary but food shopping has become so expensive. I have become adept at hoarding food but not in a gross, out of date, tv show sort of way. I know I have enough frozen and pantry food. This week I will buy fridge food. Dairy, non dairy, and produce. I would love to have it be under $100 but that never happens. Ever. Always $100 or more. This is why I hate shopping. I am pretty darn sure that if it was just the two of us, it would be like $100 every 2 weeks IF even that. But this is not a full nest rant at all.

  I can almost fit into a size 18 pants. THISCLOSE It is the gut. I will probably always have a gut flap cause old lady skin does not bounce back like that. I am really starting to notice in the mirror. I got a real boost last week too. Kid #2 and the man said (unsolicited) that I am now the smallest person in the house..out of the four of us.  I was tickled. Someone besides the man that loves me said something. My kid loves me too but you know what I mean. I will keep doing. The scale has stopped moving for now but the inches are falling off. Slow and steady wins the race.

Just another snowball Monday

*246* <---period is coming

 It is snowing again, dear readers. It started off that it was just going to be a dusting. Now we should get about 6 inches of the wet stuff. I had an appointment with the vascular surgeon today but that would be too treacherous of a drive. So they rescheduled me for Valentine`s Day.  It is kinda of good because my gut is feeling kinda shitty. I had a no-no food yesterday. The girls and I went to the annual sale at the Book Barn.  We all got some nice books on a warm gloomy Sunday. Then we went across the street to have Mexican. I had a chorizo gordita. Yes. I ate spicy sausage with peppers AND a soft pillow of loveliness that is a tortilla. It was oh so good! I am paying for it now. No liver pain just in the gut. I will eat light today.
 The snow is coming down at a steady clip...

  I was able to get some choice cookbooks. One called Chipolte..spicy! A salad as main courses one. Plus an Atkins low carb one, that I am using just for the recipes. . I also bought a Oct. 2013 issue o Vegetarian Times for $1. There are some good recipes in that one too. I am thinking of doing butternut squash soup in the crockpot, plus turkey kielbasa with rice and pigeon peas. I was supposed to make them this weekend but others wanted other things. Today I cook what I want. I can only eat a servings spoon of the rice so I will have salad but I wanted to make it. I will probably do it early because the Man has to work tonight. He will need sustenance.

 I had a good appointment with the sleep dr. I am insurance compliant, I am feeling good, and I do not have to see him for six months. Yay! Now let`s hope the appointment with the surgeon goes just as well. You all will roll your eyes but I just have to say that I am afraid. Lumps on the back of your thigh that grow are serious shit. Serious. It could be nothing like a fat blob (lipoma), or it could be something malignant. Those are the two ends of the spectrum. I am nervous. I dont want to deal with anymore. I think I have had my full of the bullshit.

Oh well. I need to get moving. I am doing laundry and I need to start the rice and the soup.
Happy Snow Day!

The Groundhog is dead

 

*245*

  Happy February 1st 2014! Tomorrow is Ground Hog`s day but I feel that it really doesn't matter. This cold shit is gonna last for 6 more weeks and then flooded basements in the Spring. We were blessed with a mild winter last year but this year was our come due. Eh! It is on the warmish side today. If you can call 42 deg F warm. I just finished my deep cleaning for the day. I did my roots and just had a change of plans for dinner. The kid wants breakfast. So I will be a good dooby and oblige her BUT tomorrow I will get my turkey kielbasa with Spanish rice and pigeon peas.

  I was supposed to see the vascular surgeon yesterday. He had to cancel (again) because of an emergency surgery. So they made me the last appointment on Monday. I am a tad nervous. This lump on the back of my thigh is probably nothing serious but it needs to go cause it is getting bigger and makes my leg weak. I was looking at pics of varicose vein clots plus I talked a friend that has them and my bump looks nothing like that. It is not even visible. You can only feel it. Fred said it is hard and doesn't move. Probably the size of a walnut. When I first felt it back last Spring, it was the size of a pea. It doesn't hurt at all. But lately when I walk or exercise, my thigh feels weak. I have endured a shit ton of stuff so I can deal with whatever this is. I am thinking it is just a fat blob.

   I only did the gym thing twice this week. PMS settled in nicely horrifically on Friday. I am good now. Not very hungry. I had a shake for break. Lunch was a banana, three thin corn cakes and a cuties. Just not feeling it today. I am gonna finish up in the kitchen and take a break. Hope you all have a nice weekend.