Bursts of Friggin Energy

*249*

   It was 10:30am on a Saturday. Instead of sitting comatose in front of the laptop drinking coffee, I vacuumed and completely cleaned the living room. Who does that? I certainly dont and have not in a very long time. I would clean but it would be in spurts. Now I am like Suzy Homemaker on speed...okay..not that bad.
 It is the CPAP that I sleep with every night. A switch has been flipped. I am getting enough sleep. It started off slowly but now I am like a glimmer of my former self. I have been procrastinating so many projects cause I just didnt feel it. Now I am planning on painting trim. <-----Not today. I have oh so much clutter to get too first. I cleaned the livingroom as best as I could for now. I started here in in the dining room but stopped to have a lunch break. I watered all the plants downstairs and after I am done with this I have to water upstairs. It is a mini miracle. I am not cured of anything but to have some energy and most definitely cognitive back in my life is very sweet to me.
  It is going to probably snow again a bit later today but it is warmer today. I was able to turn all the portable heaters off. Give them and my electricity bill a breaky break.  I really need to tackle all aspects of this house. Things need to be tossed, organized, put away, given away and just be in order. I am tired of the house being so out of order. I think this will be the year that I can be proud of the house that I live in!

 ok..gotta go. Lunch is ovah. Have a nice Saturday.

This bitch needs a coffee!

Perfectly coiffed while doing their chores.

*249*

    No gym for me today. I had a nice all day kind of work out. I do not know how much snow we got but it was fucking cold out there. I actually had to come inside and add another shirt under my fleece.
   I personally shoveled the back patio, porch, steps, walkway, steps, around both cars, and brushed them both off while they warmed. Then I drove across the bridge for an errand. Took the kid to a Dr appointment, pharmacy, gas for Jeepo, made my lunch, cleaned cleaned cleaned, and I just threw a whole chicken in the oven. I had said that I was going to section it and make oven fried chicken but I was not in any mood to mess with that shit. Phew!
 Of course everyone was sleeping. They did not hear me stomping around in my work boots at all. You can never awaken someone from a fake sleep. I know that is right. Eh! I burned some calories and gained some muscle. But I am rightfully tired and could really use a nap. That wont happen. The chicken has to be turned in an hour (2 hours 20 min to cook) and I have to peel potatoes. Oh the life I lead. So glamorous. So fucking boring. I am surprised any of you follow me at all.

What is Heidi up to today? A biopsy? Or attempt to make creme brulee?

  I feel good up stairs in my head. I am good spirits. The CPAP is finally given me a bit more energy. But my gut is just not right. I hope hope hope it is not something sucky. I did talk to my Liver Sister today and she assured me that a liver biopsy does not hurt. They numb you up nicely and you just feel a pinch. I was worried about that. But that could be the next thing on my journey.

 So yeah..that is all for today. Snow snow snow and it is oh so fucking cold. Gonna try not to fall asleep by going in the kitchen and brewing some coffee.

Another Bombogenesis for us

*249*

  I was looking for a vintage winter picture for today and I saw this. It just had to be posted. It is a Mcall`s knit Winter sweater dress. Ooo! La La!

   It is snowing today and through tonight into tomorrow. Here in my area we are predicted to get 12 inches plus. Hubs had to go into work. Thank goodness for the 4 wheel drive. He made it there safe and I will pray he makes it home safe. I will post some pics if it is a mountain of snow. So in the meantime I will share one thing I did this afternoon:

Yeah. Those are toll house cookies. I ate two. It is cold out. I have been good. And they smelled really good! Needed a reason to keep the oven on.

I am gonna go upstairs to relax and hope all my nears and dears are safe tonight.

Where I was...Where I am going.

*249*

  I was bored so I went poking around in my blog. I went to my very first blog post ever, And the story begins.  I learned a couple things. I posted my weight for all to see...283lbs. Doing the math tells me that from that weight, I have lost 34 lbs since I started this blog 4 years ago. <----that is unacceptable. I also learned that when I tell you I have had diabetes for 10 years...It has now actually been 14 years. Damn. I have been stuck on that 10 and never effin budged. If you see me posting 10 years, you have permission to cyber slap meh.
  It took me four long years to finally get it. I want to be negative on myself about this but I just cannot. I have finally understood what I have to do to get better, and I am doing it. Four years of lying to myself and living the same way, day in and day out. I can say that I never went back to smoking. That is for sure! Part of me wants to go back on that day and tell me to get it in gear, girlfriend! You are damaging yourself! You are talking a good game but you are gonna leave this world sooner then later if you do not do something about it!



I guess I needed a few surgeries and a sad assed liver to get me to where I needed to be.
 I still want to achieve the 210. I am 249 now. Only got 39 lbs to go. I am going to achieve that goal this year. I want to achieve it by the Spring.
 Goal has been set.

Saturday of my disconent. Not really.

IMUSA Caldero

*249* <------According the Gastro`s scale on Friday. Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

  See! I told you that I would come back. I think I will post every Saturday or Sunday. Other days if anything juicy happens. I did not go to the vascular surgeon on Friday. They had to reschedule cause he had to perform surgery. So I will see him at the end of the month. I did see the Gastro. Ho Hum.

 He tells me that my pain is a couple of things. One area of pain has to do with my exercising. It is muscle strain and it will take my body time to adjust. The other pain he wants to have checked out. So next Tuesday I am having blood work and an ultrasound of my abdomen. He wants to see how my liver, pancreas, and gallbladder are. I KNOW that my liver is enlarged cause I can feel it and it hurts like before. But I am not really eating any fat. So it should not be in pain, but it is. So we will see on that one. I finally asked him what he thinks is going on with my liver. I said most fatty liver has no symptoms. He says Yes. I said that I have symptoms. He said this is why you have to eat healthy and lose weight so you can get off the insulin. He said I have the kind of fatty liver that could turn into non alcoholic cirrhosis. or liver cancer in the future. I got my answer, but I did not like it. I told him about not being able to tolerate any dairy, beef, or pork. I was thinking about being a vegetarian. He said that he is almost a veg. He occasionally eats fish. So that I can forgo the things that hurt me and eat everything else. I am going to work on that. There will be lapses but if I work hard at sticking to my plan with the deletion of beef, pork, and dairy..I should be good. I hope. I see him in a month and he wants me to lose 5lbs.

So, yeah. It seems I have fucketh my selfeth in the asseth because I ignored my diabetes for 13 years. Assholeth!

  I have been walking and going to the gym on a pretty regular basis. I really need to invest in some better sneakers. The ones that I have do not give me the kind of support that I need. I want to walk 2 miles a day (weather permitting) and I will hurt my feet again if I do it in the snazzy sneakers that I have. I tried on a pair of 18 jeans but still too small for me. At least that pair. But I have a pair of size 20s that I bought last month that are starting to fall off me. I have shirts that I would never wear cause they did not *cover* me the way that I felt comfy. Now they do.

  That picture up top is a IMUSA caldero. I bought one at Walmart two weeks ago and I am breaking it in today. It is a really big one, 36 cm! It cost $22. Because it is cast aluminum, you have to season it first. There are lots of videos online to show you how. I have chili cooking it but my ultimate goal is to use it to make jams. It is heavy so I will not have to worry about the jam burning on the bottom.
Now the chili has ground pork in it.  I wanted to use it instead of tossing it. I cooked it thoroughly, and then rinsed all the grease off. I am good to go. The chili has onions, garlic, yellow and orange bell pepper, white and red kidney beans, ground pork, roasted cherry tomatoes, two cans of crushed tomatoes, cumin, oregano, chili powder, cayenne, salt, pepper, and paprika. I probably missed the kitchen sink too but that is the gist of the meal. I am going to freeze some for a later meal. This is why I made a HUGE amount.

 It did not snow today. Just a bunch of rain. It is going to dip back into the 20s next week. Yuck on that! I have to get some oil for the tank. Hoping what I got will last till then. Spring is just around the corner, I keep telling myself!

Gonna go, chili is done.

Carb free pizza crust

First pizzeria in NYC

*251*

  I just got back from the gym and I am scoffing down my lunch: Cuke, tomato, and onion salad, cottage cheese with toasted onions on top, a sprinkle of almonds, and a bit of imitation crab meat. It is a hodge podge in a bowl but it satisfies. My friend and I did 2 miles in 40 minutes on treadmill. I am sweaty and tired. But I will move on in what I have to do today.

Naked cauliflower pizza crust

Last night I made cauliflower pizza crust to make two small pizzas to try out. I followed the recipe on THIS SITE. The only thing I would have changed was I will add more salt to the crust the next time. Maybe do a half a teaspoon or a smidge more. It was really good! It did not raise my blood sugar cause there was no wheat/gluten and the man liked it too!

Cheesy goodness

I can now have pizza and not need a shot! This is HUGE for me. You MUST take it off the paper after it is done resting (when you cut it) cause it is damp underneath and you do not want mushy crust.
Tonight I am going to roast some chicken breasts and have some peas or string beans with it. Hoping it does not hurt meh.

I will try to be a better blogger and get on here at least once a week. I am very sorry!

Lazy ass blogger

*251* <---I am told being buff adds weight. LOL

  I am here! I am here! Lazy blogger, I admit it. Life and the damn N have gotten in my way. Forgive me.

   I am going to the gym today so that will make it three days in a row. My ass is sooo tired but I need to do this. I am discouraged that the scale has not moved much but I am not dumb. I know that it is because I have bee working on my core muscles and muscles add weight. So eventually, I will see a drop in the numbers. I am not gonna let it stop me.
 Revelation the other day. We had baked pesto pork chops for dinner and I had spinach and salad with it. Really good. I was not even halfway done with the meal and my liver started to protest. At first I said that I am going to become a vegetarian and this is a strong possiblity. But I am doing baby steps. I have given up pork and beef. They both hurt me so they had to go. I will stick with chicken and fish for now and see how that goes. I am having a pain issue someplace else in my gut and I have a bumped up appointment with the gastro on MLK jr birthday. It is at the point that all fat is hurting my liver and maybe he needs to go in there and look around. I do not want that but if this keeps up, I will be eating strictly rabbit food. But you know me, I gotta keep on keeping on. I think tummy issues will be my Lot in life.
 No more bacon. That is gonna be rough.

  I would highly recommend getting a Ninja blender if you can afford it and want to add juicing to your diet. All of us LOVE IT! And it is super easy to clean. I hate cleaning standard blenders so when I realized that the blender part comes right out, easy peasy to clean..I was completely sold on it. I also wanted to share a guilt free treat. You take 4 frozen bananas and put them in the food processor. Whiz until smooth. You could add a bit of peanut butter, Nutella or nothing at all. Instant ice cream! Hubs did not realize it was NOT ice cream until I told him.  Give it a try. It will give me something sweet to eat that is non dairy. Cause all dairy seems to hurt this bitch for some reason.
**I am trying to hurry up and get everything in cause I have to leave for the gym soon.**

 My birthday was good. I am still not liking 45 but I just put this coat on. It will take me a bit of time to get used to it. The cake was marble and yes I had some. Two pieces over the course of two days in fact. I was able to transition right back to eating healthy. Hubs and I were married 21 years this month and his birthday is at the end of this month. We are going to go out to dinner and celebrate all three the last weekend of the month. Eating out will be a challenge but I wont let that sway me.

 As for the new me not giving in...it is working. I am saying no more. Getting stank looks in return but this is a change for all of us. Right now it majorly sucks because we have the new yearly medical insurance deductible so we have to pay for everything!!! So it is easier to say no. I just do not have it to give.
 I really gotta go now. I PROMISE to post again today cause I have a recipe to share. It was sooo good!

Things is gonna change around here.

*254*

  Unless it is a dire reason that you need me to purchase something for you or hand you cash, I aint doing it no more. I aint shopping for you. I aint buying you shit. I aint fronting you any luxuries cause you haven't gotten paid. If you want something, and I am feeling generous, I will help you out BUT You have to pay me back. I will buy food, heat, and housing. I do not even have to provide that but I love you with all my heart and soul. I want you to grow up and be something wonderful. It aint gonna happen if I am constantly footing the bill.
I will be putting all our transactions in a notebook to get back to you later to get mine.
 I am tired of being broke and feeling guilty cause you want this or that. Get a job. Get a better job. Get a second job.
 Next year (2015) it will be time for you to pay rent if you are still here.

Yup!

 I will be wearing this dress on Easter Sunday 2014. It will fit me nicely. It will not be tight in any way. I am tired of being a sick fatty.  I wear size 18/20 now. This is a size 14. I have got a way to go. I am determined to do this. I want to kiss the 200s goodbye this year but I will start small and work on this dress first.

That is all for now. No resolutions. Just some changes. I am going to be 45 in 5 days. This shit where I do for everyone and no one does for me is ending,

Peace!