Should I?

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  I have been trying for the past month or so to get a sleep study done for obstructive sleep apnea. Our insurance company has become very strict about it since June 1 of this year. I have been denied twice so far and I think my third denial letter is in the mail.  They are going to tell me that I just need to lose weight.
 I jokingly said to my GP and to hubby that if they want me to lose weight but will not help me with my sleep apnea, maybe they will want to pay for Gastric bypass surgery. My GP did not say NO NO NO! Neither did hubby. They used to before but I think I have come to the point in my ever shortening life that maybe I should do it. If I do have the surgery, I will eliminate the type 2 diabetes, the sleep apnea, the Gerd, the cholesterol, and all the other shit that I deal with.  I will lose an intense amount of weight, I will be able to exercise and walk again like I did when I was smaller.
I know there are plenty of downsides. I will have to change my eating habits for life. There are quite a few people that I know that had the surgery..you cant even tell anymore cause they gained much of the weight back. Your stomach does stretch as the years go on and you have to be honest with yourself that you have to eat less and exercise more forever or you will have gone through that surgery for nothing!
  I am going for my physical next week. I am going to talk to him about it on a serious note. What do I have to do to get the ball rolling? If I cannot lose it on my own, than the insurance company will pay for it to happen.
 I never thought I would seriously consider it. I always thought if I tried, I could lose weight and keep it off. I have so many things wrong with me and I just cannot do it. I have the WILL but I do not have the inner POWER to succeed at losing the weight on my own.  Who knows? Either insurance will deny it or I will run screaming because I do not want to give up my love of pizza.


I am just tired of being a fat lady.

Wish I had a lounge chair and a pool boy

With lots of pock marks from cut out cancers

*265*

   It has cooled off here in the Northeast. It is still humid but it is summer. Not like it used to be. We have not gotten a big rain yet. I am hoping for that to come this week soon. I have not posted cause it was just too damn hot. I was irritated and getting on the verge of kicking somebody. The only real relief was jumping into a cool bath. I laid in there so long that part of me wished I could get one of those inflatable pillows and just sleep in there.
    I started this post yesterday, got distracted, the kid took over the computer and now I sit here to finish it while my coffee is brewing. It is humid today. We had rains last night that really cooled it off but this morning the sun is beating down on the house. The AC in the living room is on it`s last legs so we have to keep the temp at a high of 72 deg F otherwise it freezes up. Oh, and Ruby woke up yesterday covered in welts. None on her face and neck, she could breathe fine. Just everywhere else. I have not figured out what the culprit is. She woke me up with it so something at night happened. Maybe a mosquito or spider bite. Maybe she ate something that she shouldn't have. I have no idea. I dosed her with Benadryl all day and she is fine this morning. I see like two tiny welts on her side. I am going to wait and see if she needs more today. The pills are small so we hid them in cheese for her. I went out in the yard to inspect before I realized it wouldn't have happened out there cause a reaction is kind of instant...but I found a patch of poison ivy that I need to get some spray for. Good thing I found that.It is near where they go to the bathroom and all I need is to get contact off their fur from it.  
 Jesus it is humid. I just went and brought Hubby his coffee and I am sweating from the trek upstairs. I lust after central air conditioning.

  We have been talking about what we are going to do to the house when we secure the loan either in Mid-August or September. We have to paint most definitely on the first floor and that has to be done before the floors are put in. I want a new fridge like yesterday and maybe replace the dishwasher. After that, we will take our time deciding and hunting bargains and sales. I just want to get the floors done and some newer living room furniture so I can be happy when I open the front door.
This post is now not really going anywhere.. It is hot, the dog is fine, I am just doing what I do, not exercising cause it is hot as fuck, and we are happy.
I guess being happy and positive is the best you can hope for.

I am melting! Melting!!!

*263*

  It has hot as Satan`s butthole out there this week. When they said we were gonna have a heatwave, they were not shitting us. Yesterday it was so hot that the air conditioner in the living room tapped out. I have to go out later and pick up some thumb tacks. I am going to go ghetto style, put a sheet up between the living and dining rooms and the AC will be happy again, hopefully. It worked fine last night because it was not a fucking hot.

  Here at the house we have some hits and some misses in the gardening. The cucumbers are taking off ever since it warmed up. I have like 8 cuke preemies on one plant already! I am excited! The japanese eggplants are not doing so well..one is growing but no flowers yet, the other one is a dud. I have a couple heirloom tomato plants that I planted and I probably should have just thrown them away. They were stressed from the beginning and they just sit there, doing nothing. My cherry tomato plants are HUGE! My other heirloom plant is HUGE! I have great basil growing but something is eating the leaves..slugs maybe. And I have a hot pepper plant that is giving forth lots of peppers. This is just what I have growing here at the house. And I dont even have my raised beds yet. Just wait till I have my raised beds! It will be monumental! I will be a growing maniac. The plants are the community garden are doing well also. We have okra growing, tomatoes, a baby watermelon, and some cucumbers there also. Too hot to tend to the gardens there. We had some rain so they are good until tomorrow. I will either go in the early morning or in the evening.

I really need to step up my strawberry buying. They are on sale now at one of the local grocery stores. I need at least a few more bags of them. Then I have to buy my sugar, jars, pectin, and some jalapenos for the hot ones. I want to make at least 15 regular for the house and then whatever is extra will be given or sold. I am NOT giving away any of the 15. I do it all the time and then I screw the family over because it is like February and there is no jam to speak of. I wish I had the fortitude to can other things but I do not. Maybe with the raised beds, I will have a better opportunity to plant more and then I can can my goods.

Ugh..I need to go out now and it is hot hot hot. Wishing for October!

Sailfest..Schmailfest

Freedom Schooner Amistad on the Thames River in New London CT

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 Today is Sailfest in my area. It is a big festival with tall ships like the Amistad and the Coast Guard Barque Eagle, food vendors, arts and crafts, bands, beer gardens, and a shit load of people. SHIT LOAD! Oh and of course tonight is the big fireworks extravaganza. That sounds like a great Saturday but to me it feels like I would be exhausted in a minute or two.  I was downtown yesterday picking up Child number 2`s boyfriend from the train. We saw the sights and vendors setting up on the pier. I had some fried dough. I think I had my Sailfest experience.
  It is not hot or humid today and the sun is behind the clouds so it is actually a great day for going. I am just not in the mood. I have been to Sailfest so many times in my life that it all sort of blurs together. Same people, food, drunks, crowds, expensive shit, etc.
 I think I will stay home and watch tv. That may sound sad but sounds like a most perfect thing for me. I am just not feeling the whole festivities this year.
 The only thing that I MUST have is kettle corn. I will get that and I will be happy as a pig in shit. Then the family will devour it. hehehe

  I want to do stuff this summer but hoards of people pressing against me as I walk from point A to point B is not my idea of fun. Does that mean that I am getting old?

Hopefully my allergies will go away for a bit so Hubs and I can go out and have some noodle bowl for dinner. That would be nice.
I better enjoy this weekend because there is a heatwave on the way. Yuck!

Summer lovin, happened so fast

*263*

   The weather people say that it is going to be a high of 86 but with the humidity it will feel like it is in in the mid 90s. It has been like that for the past couple days. The air is thick. The walls, floors and stairs are damp. Yuck! There is some relief coming. Thunderstorms tonight and dipping temps will give some relief. When it is like this outside, I stay inside as much as possible. I water my plants but that is about it. The grass could grow as high as a corn field. I do not care. I will always repeat...it is not the heat that I hate, it is the humidity. If you have never experienced real thick humidity in your life, count yourself as lucky. No matter how long you have been around it, you never get used to it. Today will be a day of inside stuff. I want to wash the stairs again to get the ick from the humidity off. And then clean downstairs. Too much of a hot box upstairs to do anything. That will have to wait till it cools off.
 I just posted this funny video on my Facebook. This woman is swearing about the damn heat we are having. Very funny woman. She is swearing and she has said that Moses needs to take over with deciding on the weather. This woman that I have not talked to in forever decides to get on my Facebook and talk about how the woman is gonna go to hell for using the Lord`s name in vain, etc etc etc. I deleted the post with her comment, re-posted it and said at the top, If you do not like swear words or seeing the God`s name used, DO NOT WATCH IT. This is your warning. Do you know that bitch asked me if I was going through menopause? I AM but she needs to just shut her mouth. I will delete her quick like damn bunny.
 
 Let me think of some positives for today.
  Hubby is feeling much better from the virus that he caught. It is some weird summer shit that is going around. His friend even had the same symptom of his knees and back hurting. Just weird. He was told it takes a couple weeks to shake it. But he is good. Despite the heat, the veggies in the gardens are doing quite well. We have an okra growing! I never grew okra before so this is a first for us. But she is growing. I should have taken a picture but it was so blazing hot yesterday. I just went and watered the beds and left. Did  not even harvest any kale, which was so huge. I let one of the other gardeners take some home yesterday.
  Even though the Jeep needs brakes badly now, they will be fixed on Monday and all will be good. I knew it was time for brakes but I had to pay taxes and reg on two cars. The brakes were fine until I drove half hour away to DMV and back last week. Now the front brakes have hardly any pad. So she sits until Monday when she can get fixed. The positive in all this is I have been able to save money to the point that I can pay unexpected and expected bills. I forked over a lot of cash this past week and I am happy that I could do it.
  Today we are going to cook some bbq pork, bbq chicken  and potato salad. If it cools off enough this evening, I will make mac and cheese. 
This week has been too humid for any exercise activity at all so I just took it easy and hope for some cooler air to come this coming week.
 I can say that I have gone to the beach once so far this season. The water was nice and cold too. Chelsea, Natalie, and I went. I am hoping we do that more often. Just floating in the cold ocean, cooling off, and having conversation. Great way to spend a summer afternoon.

What do you do with an Empty Nest?

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  I am such a brain spaz most of the time that I do not remember if I told you about the kid number 1`s plans to move away this September. And I am not going to search to see if I have...so I will just repeat myself.
   Kid number 1 is moving away with her friend in September. They have two choices to live..an area near the Pacific or closer to home but long traveling distance. They have not made up their mind yet. My hope is they choose closer to home but that is not my decision to make. She is 24 years old and so is her friend. I have come to terms with her fleeing the nest and I am okay with that. I love that child but she is a clutter bug. I cannot wait to declutter!
  I thought we would start working on the house in a couple months and I would have some time to spend with Kid number 2. I have been thrown a curve ball. Kid number two is talking about moving away to work and live on her beau`s family retreat that they run year round. It is also close to home but a far away travel distance.  They will basically be in the same vicinity if it works out correct. She has not said when this is going to happen but I feel that it could happen before the summer is over. She would have room and board and get paid to work there. She could have a closer relationship with her beau and see how their relationship blossoms. Plus she will have the added benefit of having his family around so she is wont have to deal with the unknown completely on her own. I am okay with this. I was always okay with something like this happening. This is what happens.Your children grow up and leave.
I just did not know that it was going to happen all together.

My nest will be empty! Ahhh!

   What the hell am I going to do?  Okay okay...first and foremost, I have hubby here. That is a plus. I will not be completely alone.  He works full time so there will be a lot of time where I am all alone. That is what I am worried about. What do I do all by myself? I can re-do the entire house one room at a time. We will have a ton of extra money every month. No more spending $500 or more a month on groceries. Less electricity and water. This is a good thing! Redecorating a house from top to bottom will take time. Used furniture can be repurposed and redone. This would be a dream of mine to do. I could get this house looking the way that hubby and I want it to be.  I do not want my house to still be a fixer upper.

  But I am a wee bit freaked that they could both leave around the same time. I may need some counsel and some hugs for awhile.  Then I will realize that Hubby and I get the house to ourselves....until someone needs to come back home.

I hope I get most of the improvements done before then!