That aint your baby!

Growing!

*268*
Plants in the garden are doing well. Every time I go, I pull baby weeds. The water was good too. If you pull away the surface of the soil, you can see how far down it is wet or dry. It was very good! I only had to water the top surface. Keep growing babies!
Speaking of babies...

Is it creeping when a couple (more one then the other) posts status updates about another couple`s kids and calls them *their* kids? "Look at MY baby! I helped MY baby get dressed. I am going to buy my baby the best for their birthday!"
  They are not related at all. Just friends. Not long old friends either. Cause I have hugged up close friends kids but I never went as far as posting their pics on MY wall and calling them my kids. That will be when I have grandbabies one day.
 Some people that I know do it all the fucking time. They are young and it is not that they cannot conceive. They have just decided that one of this couple`s children and the one that is in the womb are theirs.

You are probably going huh? I do too. Every time they post.  I just thought i would throw it out there. It is just bizarre to me. I have never seen it before. And part of me wants to post.
THAT IS NOT YOUR KID!!!

It is cooler today then the past two days, THANK GOD! I took Natalie to school so she could get some last minute work done. I am going to slowly putter around the house today. I did not sleep much. I woke up at 5am with something in my eye. Eyelash? Dust? I dont know. But it hurt enough to wake me up. I flushed it out and I was up after that.
Do not know what I am making for dinner. I wish I could make chop suey but Natalie hates it. Maybe I will make it anyway! :)

Drinking my tomato juice

I think I will try this one day

*268*

I have started on my tomato juice kick again. I have a true love for this stuff. I have been drinking it since forever in my life. I would drink a large glass with a sprinkle of black pepper on top. Do not ask me why. My father used to do it so I do it. You get a vegetable in you, it fills your stomach, it wont raise your blood sugar, and it is just so damn tasty. Even better with vodka!
 I realized that back when I lost some of this excess weight that part of it was that every morning and every day at lunch, I drank a large glass of tomato juice. So I am back on that track. I found a cute pair of pants that I bought at a yard sale last year but I need to lose like 5-6 lbs to get them to fit well. I do not do pants that cut off your circulation. Then you run the risk of having camel toe and that is just icky!
Now I will drink low sodium tomato juice and I will also drink V8. I am going to try to do this every day and see how it goes. I know already that my stomach is full.
Oh! Do not think I am doing this as a substitute for food. I had some toast with peanut butter on it. I just want to stuff my gut so I am not hungry later.

I will report back to see if it works like the last time.

Happy Memorial Day

*268*

I woke up sweating. Ugh! It is another humid one today. I do not mind heat. I really hate humidity. But I shouldn't complain. Because I complained about the non Spring we had.
 My Memorial day plans consist of puttering around the house, doing nothing at perfectly timed intervals, cooking out on the grill later on today.Oh! Fred and I are going to finally put that damn $7 grill together! I started it on Friday but could not get this doo-hickey on it. So he tried and he couldn't either. Then an online friend told me what to do so we are going to try that today. The old grill is on it`s last legs. This will probably be it`s last year. I will use it if we have alot to cook in one meal.







I would like to end this post with a poem about Memorial Day. It was written in June 1882 by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Decoration Day

Sleep, comrades, sleep and rest

On this Field of the Grounded Arms,

Where foes no more molest,

Nor sentry's shot alarms!

Ye have slept on the ground before,

And started to your feet

At the cannon's sudden roar,

Or the drum's redoubling beat.

But in this camp of Death

No sound your slumber breaks;

Here is no fevered breath,

No wound that bleeds and aches.

All is repose and peace,

Untrampled lies the sod;

The shouts of battle cease,

It is the Truce of God!

Rest, comrades, rest and sleep!

The thoughts of men shall be

As sentinels to keep

Your rest from danger free.

Your silent tents of green

We deck with fragrant flowers

Yours has the suffering been,

The memory shall be ours.

                              -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Steak for one

*268*

It is humid today. It was supposed to be a bit more enjoyable weather wise but I am guessing that is a no. I have the fans going. I will be good.
Because of Ruby and her psycho tendencies, I am staying behind today while everyone else goes to a cook out. What to do? What to do?
 I have some 1/2 scale dollhouse kits I could work on. I have about 60 books on my Kindle. There is Netflix. I could clean but that would defeat the purpose of relaxation. I will probably straighten up the living room so I can be comfy cozy while I do nothing in particular today.
I have a couple magazines that I have not read. Oh! And I have a LARGE steak to grill for myself later on today. Yummy!
I think I will slice up some cucumber and onion to go with it. Perfect meal for me.
 After Ruby had that bad case of separation anxiety when I went to Jersey, I decided that I would be the one to stay behind this time around so she could get some Mom time. Of course she is out in the yard most of the morning. She would rather be outside. Which is good. I just need her to come in a drink on a regular. Like she is a kid or something.

Yesterday I received a box of goodies from a friend. She was cheering me up over some bad feelings and sadness that I am not going to share here.
It made me instantly happy to see it all. For the mini people, I got the Greenleaf Spring Fling 2012 kit with the optional sun roof, the greenhouse kit, a 1/2 scale kit, some furniture kits, and a Audrey Hepburn DVD (among other things). I actually giggled all by myself as I was digging in the box!
So that is my wonderful Sunday/holiday plans today.
Hanging out with the dogs.

Hope you have a more interesting day.

Community Garden 2012

Front and middle beds

See the freaking weeds? Both of these beds were full of weeds and they were tall. I had to use a garden fork to get some of them out. So yes, it is uber messy. I got all of the big weeds out and now I have itty bitty ones. Everyone`s beds look like this. He bought weed infested fill one year and now we all get to pay for the privilege of fighting them. And we CANT use chemicals!!

 I almost did not plant this year because of the weeds. Then the garden had a plant sale and I changed my mind. I have marigolds in the front like usual. Three tomato plants. Got to remember to bring the cages next time. Habenero pepper. Cucumbers and I have beet and carrot seedlings. The weeds were choking them out so I do not know what will happen with those.

Middle bed

See! freaking weeds!
This bed has bush beans, kale, cucumbers, mustard greens, brussel sprouts, broccoli and that is one wee strawberry plant in the corner that I planted last year. When I do not do this bed anymore, I am going to take that plant.
I think I will buy some hay and spread it around the plants. That will help with fighting. Otherwise I will have to go here almost every day. It has been raining pretty good so I do not have to go. If it does not rain today..I will go tomorrow.
I spent hard earned cash on those plants and I want them to flourish. At home I have four more tomato plants, spinach, mustard greens, and some purple kale that I need to plant.  There is a sunflower growing at the other end. I did not pull it. I love sunflowers and I will let it flourish in my garden as a decoration.
I planted all of these plants on a rainy day. It got so bad that at one point it was downpouring and I had to go under the awning to wait for it to let up. It felt good and I did not care. The plants needed to go in the soil. I did not want them to die.

I need to buy some soil for the house. I have a bunch of plants to plant in pots and I want to get some spices growing in pots out on the back patio also.
Maybe today. It looks like rain and I am not in the mood for it today.

I will continue to take pics of their progress...

Memorial day weekend

*268*

  We are coming onto the beginning of summer. Not officially but when the beach starts charging, it is summer for us here. We went yesterday and it was gloomy and foggy. The beach pass is $5 more this year but I will buy it. It pays for it self in entertainment by the time July rolls around and it is good until Labor day. Day and Night. Fireworks, car shows, swimming, pool, etc. We like it

 This Sunday, Fred and the girls are going to RI to visit the family for a cookout. I am staying behind because of psycho dog. She would tear this house apart if she was left to her own devices. She is crazy. We tried to crate her when she was young but she literally screamed the whole time she was in the box. We tried it for a week and no one got any sleep. I think as a younger puppy, she was sleeping with the humans in the house she came from. She is getting better with the discipline but she had bad separation anxiety when I went to Jersey and I do not want to leave her so soon. So I will stay here, grill a steak, and who knows what. I have the house to myself! Maybe I will watch a tv series on Netflix. Read a book. Take a nap on the couch with the dogs. It will be good.
I promised I would get some strawberry jam done too. Maybe just maybe i will do that too. If it is not hot. I think it could be okay.
It could all end up being a wash anyway because there is a tropical storm churning out there near us. It could hit Saturday or Sunday. That will mean no cook out and he most likely will not go. Crossing fingers that I get the house to myself! LOL
  So everyone cross their fingers that Heidi gets some alone time! Ha!

*I got cramps and I am moody this afternoon. That is it so far*

Ugly

*268*

Fred and I got on the subject of my interpretation of my looks last night. Do not ask me how but we can just start talking about the most random topics ever.
 I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I am ugly. I have a bulbous nose. And of course a fat face. But I hated my looks back in high school when I was thin. I was not given the kind of feedback that I guess I needed as a young child to realize that maybe I am not as hideous as I see myself. I do not care what you say to me, I will never change the way I feel. My only positive facial attributes are my eye color (hazel) and my long hair. That is about it.
Fred thought for the past 26 years that when I said I was ugly, that I was talking about my body. Now there are times in the past and sometimes now when I am disgusted by how I look. But not all the time. I want to lose weight for my health but otherwise, I am okay with how I am.  I lost the weight so that I could bend over and put my damn shoes on. That is why I started this shit in the first place. I had gotten over 300 lbs and I could not put my boots on, socks on, bend over to paint toe nails, and I felt disgusting. I lost 30ish lbs and I could live again! Now, I want to lose at least 50 more but you all see how wonderfully that is going.
hehehe

He was shocked last night. All these years and he was clueless that I perceive myself as an ugly person. I am not at the stage where I would like get plastic surgery to change it even if I could afford to. This is who I am.
Fred got upset. I told him he had to say that otherwise I would knife him in his sleep.

I do not know where I am even going with this post.

I just thought it was amusing that he did not realize that he had an ugly wife!

I had a virus!!!!!! And other boring life stuff

*268*

To be exact, I had a Malware and a Trojan on the computer. I am not going to say WHO acquired it cause any of us could have done it. But I was able to get rid of it and it was all free!
I followed a list on how to get rid of it myself and it told me to download Malwarebytes free cleaner to help. It didn't work. But I found their free techs in a forum and one person (Elise) helped me for the past two days. She had me search with this program, scrub with that program and eventually we got rid of everything. I am forever grateful and when I get some extra cash next month, I am going to hit her donate button and give her some money. The chica saved me over $100 and a headache if I had to deal with Dell again.

  I am all better from my trip. It took quite a few days but I am finally feeling a teensy bit normal. I called the gyno about the fact that I got my period last Monday! It was just as bad as it always has been and I had pain. He had me go in today for bloodwork. CBC is Complete Blood Count. I think he is checking to see if I am anemic. I would not be surprised. I told my shrink last month that I have been so exhausted lately and over sleeping. If it is not one thing, it is another. This will mean that I will have to succumb to another surgery and have a hysterectomy (leaving the ovaries). I am not thrilled but I am. I know that sounds weird but I will be glad to be done with the pain and mess but I will miss that part of me. That is what grew my children. You know me..I will keep you all up to date on that.

I have decided on a new tattoo but I have to wait for the money. I will save for it. It came to me. On my right wrist I want a bracelet. Chelsea and Natalie Chelsea facing out and Natalie facing in. The C and the N are touching and their names wrap around my wrist. I do not want it completely around but we shall see. Sound cool?
I know they screwed me on Mother`s day but I have always wanted to have a tattoo that represented them and that is what it is going to be.

Look at the snazzy gift I got from my friend Agran! It is a cup cozy but it screamed at me to put it on my water bottle. So it is my bottle cozy. So moustachy! So hipster! I love it!

Now I will drink a lot more water and look fancy while doing it. You know you are jeluz.

Home again Home again Jiggedy Jog

Dale`s dog Sissy

Okay, still working on the virus with a tech online. Waiting for her reply so I figured I would finish what I started. That beautiful specimen is Sissy. She is the sweetest dog you could ever meet and I have met plenty.

Black skinned chicken

They are a product of Asia. We went to this HUGE Asian market in her area to get some purple yams but they were sold out. Fred and I want to know what these chickens taste like (all dark meat) but we do not have anything like that here. So I had to take a picture for posterity.

Kiss me!

Yup, that is exactly what you think it is and NO, I did not touch it. Yuck!

Awesome!

One of the things we did during the week is thrifting. I found this beauty at the Goodwill. It is metal and it cost me $1.99. Some may say it is ugly but I think it is the cat`s pajamas. Someone took the time to carve it, I am going to enjoy it in all it`s utter weirdness.

Fiestaware!

Another thing we did was some antiquing. It was hot that day so the place was rather warm. I was getting a headache from all the vintage overload on my eyes. Until I saw this closet! Isn't that the prettiest thing you ever did see?
I did not buy any. Too rich for my blood.  I picked up a coffee hound cup and two metal stars.

At the Philly station, there was a forty minute wait because someone jumped in front of our train when it was in Delaware. So I went potty, checked my blood sugar, and had some food. Very bad food! LOL
I knew I was going to feel like crap standing in line for who knows how long, so I got some food into me for the long train ride home. I do not like the food on the train. Yuck!

Took forever

I was near the front of the line, thank goodness. We all stood there for 30 minutes. I had a woman from CT standing next to me so we chatted up a bit. I was worried because my bags were heavy but I was able to make it down the escalator fine and onto the train. I even got a seat next to a nice person that smelled good.
I have a video of the NYC skyline at night from the train but the computer and blogger are being a butthead today so that is not going to be on here.

I had a good time. Good talks. Good laughs. It took me four days to come to any kind of normal for me. That trip wiped me the fuck out. I could not even talk or type correctly because my brain was so tired. I am glad I went but I am also glad I am home to be able to rest up. I think I have truly figured out my limitations.
I cannot go go go anymore. Slow like a turtle is the pace that keeps me good on a day to day. I miss being able to do it all but I just have to be realistic. Trips to far away places will be few and far between on my agenda.

Hope you didnt miss me too much!

Home again Home again Jiggedy Jig

Fisher Island Ferry terminal in the background

*270*

I have been home since Thursday night. I was so exhausted that it truly took until today to sit down and make a blog post. I came home to the Dell having a Malware virus. I am working on it with techs online for free. Hopefully they can help.
So this is going to be a series of pictures to show you what I saw. I had a good time. It was a nice visit.

Shhh! Be quiet

I sat in the quiet car on the way there. It was bizarre. All you heard was snoring, the train, and the clicks of laptop keys. I liked it but didnt. I like to be a voyeur on the train and the quiet car is not the place to do it.

Trapped!!!

I was sitting in front of that bag right above and that Hefty bag was on my right leg and the chick it belonged to was pressed up against me. It was a clusterfuck! I had to get off before her and I was going to have to hop over this mess!

Boring but almost there!

It was an uneventful trip. I made it there in one piece! And I had no troubles with my bags like I thought I would.

I will continue in another post. I have to leave to take Natalie for a job interview and this computer is an asshat!
More pictures to come.

I am going on a train ride

I got up at 545am. It is now and hour later and I will be leaving soon. I want to stop and get a breakfast sandwich for the train ride to Philly and then onto Dale`s house, It is four hours and it will be raining. This will be my last post until Friday morning.
I will leave replies here though. I do not mind doing that over the phone. I will take lots of pictures!

I hope I do not topple over with my heavy rolling suitcase and travel bag (snacks, purse, phone). I hope I get help putting it on the train!
Wish me luck.

Happy Mother`s Day

*270*

I hope you all have a wonderful day today. I hope you have a wonderful day full of love, family, gifts, and brunch!
I got up about an hour ago and I am helping Fred prepare my Mother`s day breakfast. He went out to the store and I washed all the dishes from last night. He called his Mom and his godmother (message). He and I are just hanging out. Chelsea and Natalie are still sleeping.
It is just another day.
I am not going to complain because I did that already to a group of my friends. One kid plum forgot until 8pm last night and the other just doesn't like me for whatever her reasons. I am not going to cry over it this year as in years past.
It is just another day.
I think I need to re-evaluate myself though. I do so much for them as their Mother and only ask for some recognition in return. I can`t be given that gift today then I am not going to be there for them in many aspects.
The day is not over but it has already started off badly.
It is just another day.

Cake Cake Cake!

A lovely bunch of cupcakes

Fred just brought this home. It consists of vanilla and chocolate cupcakes. We were all talking about how we wanted some kind of dessert tonight with the Loco Moco. I was not feeling it cause I had just made a batch of Lavender Jelly.
 Isn't that sweet? I am glad there are five of us and I will make them eat the  majority. I have been hating my fat self lately.

I get a purple flower!

Sultry Saturday

*270*

Love the colors in the picture!

It is so much warmer and sunnier outside today then in the past week. 63 deg F at noon here.  No more jackets needed. I did some work this morning before I went on the computer. Shockers! I mowed and weed whacked the side yard and the patio. Lu and Perl were having issues peeing and pooping in the tall grass (for them) so I took care of it. I left the front and the top yard for Fred. I started to break a sweat after I filled a bag with some wet leaves. I piled some branches off too the side and I came in. I will putter around the house and I want to make jelly because I told Dale I would bring her a sample. We shall see if it gets done. That is going to have to be done today though. Let me finish my Ramen first.

 I will not be posting at all while I am gone to Jersey to Dale`s house. I will be leaving the laptop here, I do not like posting on the blogger app from my phone, and I will have a nice big post for you all when I am fresh on Friday. I will take pictures wherever I am allowed.

Pretty soon I will have some BIG NEWS to share. There is life changing stuff on the horizon that actually can be considered really good. I am not going to talk about it until it is all squared away. Then I will do a nice long post about it. It is good, believe me! I am trying to change my life for the better. I shall talk about it in the coming weeks. I am dying to talk about it but I will be good and zip the lip.

The only other thing that I can think of to talk about is that I am going to try something new for dinner. Fred and I have been wanting to try something called Loco Moco for quite awhile. It is Hawaiian fast food. White rice, hamburger patties, yolky eggs, and brown gravy. We will either LOVE it or hate it. We shall see.

I do not know if I am going to be posting tomorrow. We shall see. It matters on what mood that I am in. I could be in a great mood or a really pissy mood.

Happy Mother`s Day from me to you!

The sun is shining again

*270*

 All day and into the evening yesterday, it rained. I am surprised that it did not flood a bit in the basement. Of course, I went and did some food shopping in all that mess. I enjoy it when we have a spring rain but that deluge was unnecessary! But today is a better day. The sun is shining, the dogs went out in the yard, and it is going to be a gorgeous week ahead. I leave for Jersey in four days! I have laundry downstairs that needs to come up stairs so that I can start packing.

I really have nothing to say. I just figured I would post so that you would know that I am still alive. Living my life. Ho-hum

Anyone else dealing with extra spiders and mosquitos? I have to spray myself down just to take the dogs out. That bad out in the back yard.
My neighbor had a tree guy over. I think he is planning on cutting ALL of his pine trees down. I will have so much sun in my yard, I wont know what to do with myself! I will be so happy!!

See, this is a nothing blog post.
I want chocolate. I know that for a fact.

Tonite for your dining pleasure is fried and baked panko encrusted Tilapia with tater tots and Caesar salad.  I will be cooking that soon.


Okay I am going to end this torturous post and move along.

Milo is a feline Houdini

He actually stopped and posed for Natalie

I saw Milo this morning when I came downstairs. I picked him up, gave him a rub and a peck and went on my way. Later, I went downstairs to do laundry. I felt a breeze. OMG! The basement door was unlocked and it was open! My first thought: Where are the cats????
I ran up to the 2nd floor and found Oliver in the bathroom window. I looked for Milo...everywhere. He has many hiding places that he likes to go to for slumber. Fred and I could not find him. We walked the neighborhood. We drove around the entire block. We called *kitty kitty kitttttyyyyy*. Shook dry cat food. Opened windows in the house (cause he loves an open window).
 Told the neighbors! We couldn't find him. He is a strictly inside cat. Has never been outside at all except in cat carrier.
 I put up a Craigs List ad because I did not know what else that I could do. I was beside myself. I was crying. Natalie was crying. Where could he be?
This is Chelsea`s cat and she would never forgive me!

I sat down at the computer trying to decide what I could possibly do. I felt a brush of a tail on my leg. It was the fucking cat!
He was in the house the whole damn time and had just woken up from wherever he was. Cat bastard!
I guess he is loved.

Full Circle

*270*

 I saw my *Mom*, Carmen, yesterday. She was in town and wanted to stop by. She had something to give me. This green vase.
 I found this vase at a yard sale about 10 years ago and I probably paid $1 for it. I bought it for my friend Rhonda for her new rental house. She was using green in her motif and it was perfect! She loved it. And I can see that it was never broken so she treated it with love. Carmen saved it from being tossed as her son was cleaning out Rhonda`s things from her apartment. She knew that I should have it. I now know what color scheme I want for the living room. Touches of green. It did not make me sad. It made me happy that I was given a small piece of her. It lets me know that she loved this vase enough to not let it get lost or broken on all of her moves.

Today I am going to be doing more laundry. I need to start thinking about the pack for the four days in Jersey I have to also make a list of all the things I need to bring with me to Jersey. I want to bring the Kindle, which I need to charge....brb.....going to get it! Okay, she is charging. I have plenty of books to read on there. I am reading Mozart`s Wife right now. So if I have trouble falling asleep, I can do that.
 I leave early in the morning on Monday and I come home in the evening on Thursday. I will have to get something at the store for me to eat on the way home. I do not like the food on the train..Yuck!
We are going to go to the Mutter Museum! I am excited. I have wanted to go there ever since I saw a tv show all about the place. Fred is uber jealous. I have to make sure I have money set aside for us to go there and then there are thrift shops to go to and I am cooking dinner one night. I have an idea of how much I am going to need. Good thing I get paid this week. I wonder how the family is going to be without me around. Dogs included. I do so much for them all on a daily basis. Now I will be gone for four days. FOUR WHOLE DAYS! I will come home on Thursday but the train comes in at night. I am going to make some pasta sauce for the fridge so that Raymond can make spaghetti one night. Hot dogs and buns, taco night, and then what? Natalie refuses to let me really teach her how to cook. Chelsea will be fine if she has all the foods she needs. I am going to give Fred some cash just in case they need anything. They are all adults and I worry. Sad, huh?

I have some news from the Gyno. I went for my post op appointment yesterday. He said I am healing well. He thinks the fact that I still have to wear a thin pad every day is a good sign. It probably worked for the bleeding, so that was a success. Unfortunately, I still have pain. He says that if the pain gets worse to the point I cannot take it anymore, I will have to have a hysterectomy. But that is not for now. The pain I get is not horrific. I can survive it. If it gets bad, I will go the next step to have my uterus removed. He said he would do it through the belly button. I would stay over one night and go home the next day. So I think it was a good visit.

No more flooding for Meh!

I had a fight!

Charles "Kid" McCoy

*270*

A cyber fist fight!

I posted that Connecticut had passed the Medical Marijuana bill and I was happy for that. I wish that one day my illnesses will be on the list of *approved* so that when I am really feeling sick, I can smoke without worrying about the state or city trying to get me.
 So I was talking about the news and others were talking about the news. It wasnt really about recreational smoking at all. It was all medical talk.
Then this person comes on that I have been acquainted with for years.
 She says. "That's great, but do you have to post this online for children to see it?"
Me:  I don't have children on my page Linda. It is only open to my friends. I trust that most that do not agree, just hide the story. If you do not like it, you can do the same. Or you can unfriend me. Either or. Have a nice night! :)
Her: Children can still see, whether or not there are any on there. It all has to do with other peoples settings as well. I have no problem with the medical things, I'm just protective over what kids see and shouldn't see. It wasn't meant to be bad towards you. I also fuss at people for cursing, so don't take it personally, K?
I was getting pissed! Oh boy!
Me:  I have my settings so only my friends can see it. No friends of friends or public.
If someone is careless enough to let their child read my post on their Facebook, that is a whole other issue. So I am being nice. Really nice. I can make it so it isn't a problem for you anymore. Would you like that?
Her:  Sure, sounds great Heidi, if you want to be that way. Childish, but OK

The bitch called me Childish! WTF! You have no clue who I am do you? You do not. I stayed calm though. All this time this is going on, I am sick to my stomach because that was a day for it to be. 


Me: I do not go on other people`s pages and tell them what the can and cant say. I just hide the content. That is there view. Not mine. So be it. Just cause you tell me to NOT POST ON MY PAGE does not mean I am going to abide by your wishes.
Childish to want to have my right to say what I want? Sure, you can call it that if you want. Stupid to think I am going to allow you to continue to do it...ummm no.
Me: 5
Me: 4
Me:3
Me:2
Me:1 
 And I deleted her ass!
The post went to 69 comments total after that. I am not going to rehash what everyone said. I have people behind my back.

I find out later that she is not a very nice person. She likes to bully people to do what she wants. That is probably why she called me childish. I was not bending to her will. Fuck that! Bitch, you got knocked off my radar is what happened. Good Fucking Riddance.


I STILL have not put that damn $7 grill together. I just have to do it. Why am I not doing it? I have no problem following directions. I have no problem swinging a Phillips screw driver. I am the one that puts assembled furniture and such together in our family. For some strange reason, I have no initiative to do it. None whatsoever.
I have to just do it! Because it is sitting in the middle of my diningroom floor all ready and willing. The kids want burgers for dinner. We could have them on the grill.

Lets hope I just get it done.

Company is Good!

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 Blogger is being an ass so we will see how much I get done of this. It wouldn't even let me read any blogs last night at all. Be a good blogger now!

  Yesterday was good. I hardly ever post on Fridays because I am too busy. Friday is pay day and it is the day I get anything done that needs to be done. Bank, Post office, and shopping. I usually end up doing this alone, or that is how it has been most of the past 26 years that I have been doing it. Lately, Natalie has been coming with me lately and I like it. She helps me with lugging and shopping. She steers me away when I know I only have so much to spend and part of me cannot resist.
We started off going to breakfast downtown. I was hungry and I have not gone to breakfast in awhile outside of my home. Fred and I used to go every Friday morning. I miss that. So I took Natalie. Then we went to the pawn shop across the street because that is what Fred and I would do. She scored a 4 gig iPod shuffle for $30 with new ear buds and plug. They said that if it has any issues, just bring it back and they would give us our money back.
 She is happy and I like to make her happy even in small ways.

I just found out that CT passed the medical marijuana bill. I wonder if I will be able to get a license to purchase. It will be a bit before the dispensaries start popping up but I want it so badly. Fred wants me to cultivate here at the house too, for my own consumption.
This is a happy day for many of us that have been sick for so long. I have a feeling that they might not list any of my ailments for those that are allowed. That would be so wrong.

Okay, I need to get moving here. I got one kid glaring at me because I dare to be on the computer in the afternoon. How Dare I! LOL

Have a good day!

My children are growing!

My favorite picture

  Chelsea cleaned out the book shelf here in the diningroom yesterday. When I say cleaned it out..I mean she threw away all her paper madness! It is clean! She wanted to hook up the printer to the laptop so she could scan something. I told her the plugs were in the top shelf of that mountainous mess. She found the plug for the wall but not the plug to the computer. She tore apart the entire bookcase because she knew that 90% of that shit was hers. I am absolutely thrilled! It is the best gift I could have ever gotten. I hated looking at that bookshelf. She would save every fucking scrap of paper (like her father) and shove it any old place in that shelf. I had cleaned it before but she would crap it back up again. One day I decided I was not going to do it anymore. It is not my mess.

SHE CLEANED IT!!!!!

She did`nt find the cord though. I am going to hunt in other locations within the diningroom to find it. It cannot be far. I would have kept both cords together.
Oh btw..Chelsea is in purple and Natalie is in blue. This picture is about 3-4 years old. One of my favorites of them being goofy.

Last week, Natalie completely cleaned the kitchen! I was shocked to shit at that. I think they are growing. I think they realize it is not fair that I have to TRY to do it all. Because I cannot. Even if I was an able bodied person, it is not fair to have to pick up the crap of other adults unless I am getting paid for it. I think this is the best early Mother`s Day gift I could get. I know that part of what I have been doing and teaching has finally sunk in. I wanted to get rid of that bookshelf so badly because of the MASSIVE clutter. I did not have a picture but it was really bad. It was embarrassing is what it was.
 So I am happy and I think I will work on the rest of the diningroom today. I have this $7 grill to still put together that is sitting in the middle and the search for the plug!
What a great day this is turning out to be...even though it is raining.

Under Pressure

I know, I know. More Queen. But the song is fitting for the way that I feel today. I cannot actually say what the pressure is because there are some things I do not share online.
 Surprised?
 Yes, I do not share everything because some things I want to keep for myself.
 I am just having some pressure to do something. I want to do this thing but I do not know if I can do it. I want to try it out. If I can do it, great! If I cannot, no biggie...I tried. Now I am getting pressured that this is the way it is going to be now. I can do it. NO PROBLEM! You can do it. Do not doubt yourself! Do it and I can relax! Do it and everyone will be happy! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Confused? Sorry. 
I am not saying what it is so do not coax it out of me. Those of you that DO know, please to do not divulge the essence of my pressure.
So my ass is confused, scared, angry, and defeated. Something I wanted to give a shot at has now become something I have to do no matter what!

Fuck!

Chicken Egg Rolls

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That just lets you know that females are always the boss! I stumbled on this looking for something else and I thought it was fitting for today. The man is fucking up and the woman had to come along and put him in line.

Fred has the night off and so I am making something special for dinner because I like to do that when he is home. We are going to have Chicken egg rolls and Japanese purple sweet potato oven fries. I wanted to share my egg roll recipe because it is really effin good.

Chicken egg rolls

Ingredients

2 whole boneless/skinless chicken breasts, cut into very small pieces
1 package of egg roll skins. I like Wei-Chuan brand that are stretchy and elastic.
1 white onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, chopped fine
1 half small cabbage, shredded thinly
2 T soy sauce
1 T garlic powder
1 T onion powder
1 t Sirachi hot sauce (the one with the Rooster on the bottle)
Salt and pepper to taste
1 egg yolk
1 egg white

Directions

Mix all ingredients in bowl except for the egg roll skins and the egg yolk. Mix till all incorporated. Cover and put in fridge for an hour, at least. Put yolk in small dish and break it. This is going to be used to seal your egg rolls.

I could explain how to roll and egg roll but I think it is best if you just watch. I do not make THESE egg rolls that thick. I roll mine about as thick as a cigar. So you can eat like 3-4 as a meal. But the same holds true on both on how to roll it!

As you are rolling, make sure to keep a damp paper towel covering the skins you are not using. Air dries them out quickly. I usually have about 2 inches of veggie oil (enough to cover one side) in a cast iron fry pan. If you have a deep fryer, all the better. You want to fry these until golden brown on all sides. The chicken will cook while it is in the oil. I have been doing this for years with beef and chicken and never bit into a raw egg roll.
Put them on paper to soak up oil.
I serve with duck sauce, plum sauce, and hot sauce.

The skins come in a package of 25. So you can either use one or two packages for the amount of people you are feeding. If using two packages, you are going to want at least another whole chicken breast.

I hope you enjoy it. You can fiddle with the spices if you like. It is all according to your taste. I do not like Chinese 5 spice so I do not use it in this but you might like it.
Let me know if you gave this a try.

Money Talk

Great Depression Bread Line

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 I wanted to say that it is going well and not so well. I have spent money on things that are not in the budget for this week. Fred gave me some extra money because he got paid extra on Saturday. I was able to buy Broasted chicken for Saturday night dinner. I made the sides. I proceeded to use the rest of the money for gas, eggs, soda, and other odds and ends (food wise). I bought canning jars and laundry detergent. I could have not bought these things and still had money but I bought them and I do not feel bad. Today we all splurged on a donut each. Everyone pitched in.

So it is working in the sense that I am paying much more attention to the money then I used to. And I am going to stick with that. Every week, I am NOT going to take whatever I want to spend. I am only going to take the minimum amount that I allow myself.  I have a couple bills to pay this week and I have to grocery shop. I want to save money for my trip to Jersey after Mother`s day.
I am not going back to spending willy nilly. I have to continue this but not as dire. I am going to add another $50 to the grocery money and that should hold us over all week long. I SEE how much I can really buy with my money that I do not have to buy crap. I can buy meat and staples and have good meals.
 My blood sugars are phenomanal since I have been doing this. Normal range across the board because I changed the amount of insulin at meals and the amount of food I am eating is less. I have not noticed any weight loss but my pants are not as tight. So this is good too. Not so much junk in the house means more money and healthier us!

Tonight is going to be a cold weather meal fitting for this cold and wet day. Meatloaf, garlic mashed potatoes, buttered corn, and Jiff corn bread in the iron skillet. Nice stick to your ribs meal.

Happy May Day!

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Happy May Day!
We are in the middle of Spring now. It is 50 deg F and it is raining. A really yucktastic day out there in Connecticut. I cant complain. The ground it getting a much needed drink of water.
 We do not celebrate May Day anymore around here. My Mom told me that back when she was young. you would make a May Day basket of flowers. Then you would put them on the doorstep of someone, rang the doorbell, and run away. The receiver of the flowers was supposed to try to catch you. Sadly, that does not happen anymore. I think that would be cool to get a basket of flowers. Like an extended Valentine`s Day.
 I am supposed to go to the gym this morning. Right about now, in fact. Fred told me NOT to wake up Natalie. She is grown and has to learn to do it for herself. I am also supposed to take Raymond to fill out computerized application at the hospital. Same thing. He knows. I am not going to nag him. You know who they are going to be mad at when they wake up, don't you?

 This is a nothing post really. It is a fantastically crappy day out and I hate driving in the rain in the Jeep. At midnight, my phone will have no service (Virgin Mobile) and I wont be able to turn it back on until Friday. I forgot that my phone gets rebooted at the first of the month now. I did not budget for it in my lack of money. Oh well. No Facebook or internet for two nights for me. I will survive. I will read the Kindle. So if you do not see me online, you know why.


I think the most exciting thing that is going to happen around here are some nice long naps. And some cooking. I still have NOT made those damn donuts. I hate myself sometimes. I want to do things but my body says NO..you are going to relax now cause that will make you more tired. So Stop it!
Then I never get things done or they get done days or weeks after I started to think about it. I have to get the next batch of Lavender jelly going cause I have a couple people that want some. Oh! I got one person that said YUCKY! They did not want to tell me that and they apologized. I told them that is perfectly OK. I want honest opinions. Some people are going to like it, others are not. I will give her a big thing of strawberry when it is done.
Okay, I guess that wraps up this edition of Heidi`s boring ass life in urban coastal Connecticut.
Peace!