It is almost New year`s eve

I would die to have this poster

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  Ahh! Almost time to pop the bubbly and contemplate a new year. I do not do resolutions. I am too prone to failure in that arena. I will just try my damnedest to do better in 2012 then I did this year. Lose more weight will be one of those things. But I am not going to beat myself up if I do not make it to the gym every week or month..hehehe. I WILL be saving money because I am going on my trip across the country next year. I start saving in January. I will save $32 a week in my savings account (at different bank..separate from house account) and I will have plenty by September. I am not touching it for anything. I was thinking I might try to save an extra $50 a month for a  little extra. Even after the trip is done, I will continue to save that money.

  I had my endoscopy and it was a piece of cake like everyone said. I was not even drowsy afterward. I remember everything except the part when I was knocked out. The Dr said that everything looked good but he found a couple red spots in my stomach and he took some biopsies of the areas. Probably going to check if I have that H. Pylori too. I will find out next week what his final report is. It baffles me. Everything looks good but I still have stomach pain. If I was to have to predict, I think those red spots are healing ulcers (cause he gave me that medicine). That is why he did not say ulcer right away. Who knows. Just do not tell me there is nothing wrong with me at all. I assume if he finds the bacteria in my gut, he will put me on antibiotics to kill it anyhoo. That would be good so the pain does not come back full force. I will let you know when I find out.

  Yesterday I went and bought some snacks, two bottles of Ballatore bubbly, and I made some Coquito (Puerto Rican egg nog). That shit will knock you on your ass, I tell you! The recipe almost fills a 2 liter soda bottle. It has 8 oz of white rum and 3 oz of brandy. Just enough kick to make you notice but not care..and you drink and you get drunk! LOL I want to get my drunk on but I am not stupid. I just had an endo for stomach pain. Drinking a large amount of booze would be stupid on my part. I will drink a small thimble full of it tonite and I will have some champagne at midnight. I will be a good girl otherwise.
If it wasnt for my gut..oh it would be on!
 Oh! This computer is getting ready to shit the bed now too. So I am praying to the computer gods that you let her work for another 2 weeks. I am going to save up a few hundred and get a cheapo laptop. It wont be the greatest but it will keep us online for now. I might go to the pawn shop too. We shall see.

So I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Year`s Eve. I will be spending tomorrow taking down all the Christmas decorations.
Oh Joy!

The end of the year and my gut

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New Year`s Eve is this Saturday. I got invited to go out the one of the casinos to see a 70s/80s revue. I am going to decline the offer. I want to be an old lady, drink my champagne (Ballatore), eat some snacks, and play a board game with the kids. None of them have plans either. I could go but I just do not feel well. I called my gastro Dr today to let him know that the pills really are not working. I feel like garbage and I have a headache to boot. For a millisecond, I could think it is high blood pressure..but I have low blood pressure (the low good kind) and it was JUST checked last week. Fred told me when he was dealing with his stomach pains, he had headaches too.
Anyway, I told him the meds didnt work. He said that he will be looking to see what the problem is in a day and a half and we will fix the problem. I asked if I should continue taking the medicine. Yup. Damn horse pills.
 

  I want to say that I do not do New Years Resolutions. But I do try to improve myself from year to year. So if I screw up on those improvements, I do not beat myself up over it cause I didnt keep my promise to myself. 
So I think my ass will stay home with my children and have some laughs. We love to play board games. Especially the word ones. Like Apples to Apples. We bought a new one for Christmas. It is called Would you rather?  

Boring, huh?

Christmas 2011

*266*

Merry Christmas to all of you that come to my little blog. I appreciate all of you, even the ones that I do not know about.

  I got up at 3am to two things. The sound of the ceiling fan in the dining room being on (it is directly under our bed) and the smell of dog shit. Okay, three things. Ruby must have shit and come back to bed and wanted under the covers. Her digging and re-arranging woke me up. Lights on, tv still on (on pause), shit on the floor, recyclables all over the place. After I tidied up, I am awake. I can nap later. I have stuff to do but I will wait till at least 6am so I do not wake Fred up.

  I am in a non reflective mood this year. It is just another day to me, just better food. This is the first year in my entire life that there is nothing under the tree for me. I am not sad. It is what it is. Certain things take precedence. Lots of people are out there talking about how wonderful it is, their family, their loved ones, blah blah blah. You should say that shit all the time, not just at the end of the year....while you are drunk on egg nog. I am not from a mushy gushy up bringing. Sometimes I wish I was. When I say I love you, I truly do. Just because I do not smoosh the shit out of you 24/7 with my exclamations of that love doesnt mean different. I am what I am. :)

I finished the majority of the prep work for today. I have to get the veggie platter stuff cut up. I have to take the ham out to warm up at bit to the room before I put in oven. I also have to make rice pilaf and devilled eggs. I am so looking forward to the eggs. LOVE THEM! I make them at Christmas and Easter. Fred and I eat them like they are going out of style and then we blow it up for the rest of the day. Gotta carry matches with you when you are around devilled egg eaters.

Can you see I am just blabbing on about nothing? LOL

I will be having my endoscopy on Thursday. I wanted to put that out here just in case I do not come back before then. I definitely wont be back on the computer until Friday after cause my ass will be sleeping off the knock out drops.

So that is about it...right?
Eat some good food, have a great time with your family and friends, and drive safe please!

Christmas Eve 2011

Secret Santa gift!

*266*

I have finished doing the majority of the prep work for tomorrow. I hate killing myself on eating day..I mean Christmas. Do you like my apron? It was a gift from my friend, Barb, for Secret Santa. I love the pin ups! I also am sporting some nuevo reindeer ears that jingle.
 I am very tired right now so I do not have much to say. My gut has been hurting all day no matter what I eat and I have been nauseous on and off. So my prep day dragged on. The collards are on the stove cooking. They will stay up there till like 7-8pm. Then I will turn them off and keep covered on top of stove. Turn them back on tomorrow morning and they will be perfect.

I am happy because it is Christmas but also because of two things. Doctor Who Christmas show is tomorrow night AND..Abfab is back!!

Chelsea, Natalie and I love AbFab. We love watching the repeats of it on BBC America. It will be new tomorrow night in England but not here. We can watch it on the computer though. Yeah!

Okay, I need to get off my ass and relax my legs. Have a great night all and I will post tomorrow!

I get to open my secret santa today!!

*266*

My friends and I did a gift exchange this year. It is the first one we ever did. There are 10 of us. We all live in different parts of the US and we have one Canadian. Our names were randomly picked and we had to get a gift for that person. It had to be a secret!
I found out yesterday that it wasnt much of a secret after all. After much deduction, everyone knows who everyone secret santa is. Today is opening day! I have been ignoring my gift under the tree for more then a week. It is killing me. It is taking all I can to not just go in there and open it!!!!
  I can be very cool and calm about Christmas and my Birthday. If I am not getting a gift, it is really no big deal anymore. I have had enough disappointments in that arena that I have become a bit numb to it. But..if there is a pressie for me, and I have NO clue what it is...I become 6 years old! I need to know what it is! NOW!
I will shake it. I will smell it. I will squeeze it. I will move it around to see if anything moves that gives me a clue. Dammit! Nothing!
I know that my gift has candy in it. That I do know. I want to know the rest!

The cruel part? I have to wait until TONITE to open it! Ahhhhhh!

Five days till Christmas

*265*

Five more days until the hell on earth is over. hehehe It wasnt so bad as I thought. I was able to get some nice gifts for the girls and Raymond. Fred and I will celebrate in January. It is all good. We have a ham in the fridge defrosting, two new front tires on the Jeep, and on Friday I will order some heating oil...hopefully. If not, I will order on Saturday for Monday. All is right with the world. Or so it seems. The stomach pill seems to be working in some capacity. I do not have constant stomach pain that I have to pack with food. But the pain is still there, just duller. I still have acid reflux, burping and the whole 9s. I am giving it time.

 I remember when I was young, I used to lay on the floor and stare at the Christmas tree lights and dream. We had the big bulb lights back then that you could replace one by one without the whole string shitting the bed. I was growing up in the 70s so there were some Christmas` that were not that great. And now it has come around again. There will be kids out there in the US who will say the same thing when they are grown. They will remember the 2010s as a shitty time to have Christmas. It will either get better, worse or stay the same. We really do not know. I know that this past year has been one of the hardest that I have had to endure financially in a very long time. It was like this back when Fred and I were starting out. We did without. We didnt know any better. Now you have to decide if you are going to get rid of cable tv or not for the fact that it will save money. I am thinking of getting rid of the house phone and just having our cell phones. But I do not want this to be about what I need to do or have to do. I want this to be a nice Christmas, regardless of what we got or didnt got.

I have decided on a dinner menu. Chelsea has not told me what she wants yet.
I have a nice big ham that I am going to score, dot with cloves, and cover in brown sugar. I am going to make potato salad, collard greens, rice pilaf, deviled eggs, a veggie platter with gorgonzola dip, boneless chicken wings with ranch (Natalie`s request). I had miscounted the presents and Natalie has more then Chelsea. It popped in my head that Chelsea wanted some Yellow Tail. So I will get her some red and white wine. I just have to find some wine bottle gift bags.

I am really glad this holiday shit is almost over.

Happy Hanukkah to my friends that celebrate!

And the Gastro says.....

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  I have been back for over two hours but I had some shit to do before I could get any computer time in.
 I went to see the gastro dr this morning..early at 815am. I told him everything that has been going on and he told me that he really doesn't know. It could be an Ulcer. It could be Irritable bowel syndrome. It could be just Acid Reflux or Gerd. It could also be diabetic gastroparesis. I hope to hell it isn't that! That is not a good thing to get. Lord no! You basically have trouble digesting your food. As it gets worse, you end up on a liquid diet and then feeding tubes. That is not the way I want to get myself thin! So we shall pray to whomever you pray to that I do not have that.  He said it can be a combination of the things he mentioned. He wont know until he does a endoscopy. He also gave me a script for some acid reducing pills. I do not remember the name and sure as shit I have never heard of it. Fred has taken many and it isn't any of those.
 When I went up to the receptionist she made a surprised remark and I was like What? The Dr went on the computer and scheduled my endoscopy for December 29th. He is already booked up but he shoved me in there. She says the hospital MIGHT change the date but I will find out sooner then later.
So yeah. I will get the upper half of a roto rooter four days after Christmas. I got a gift after all!

No diet was established for me because he really does not know what is wrong. I am just in pain all the time in my gut and I have other stomach and gastro issues that suck. So that is about it. But I keep a smile on my face and a joke in my soul. I will be okay whatever the outcome.

Now I need to change into some comfy clothes and relax on the couch.
Happy Friday!

Off to the Gastro...for me

*267*

Today feels like a pin up kind of day. Dont you think so? So I pulled out a large assortment in one fell swoop!
 I called my GP yesterday and left a message about the stomach symptoms that I have been having. I think I might actually have an ulcer. A couple friends told me that it sure sounds like it.
They referred me to the gastro dr (no copay..yippee!) and I waited. They finally called yesterday around 5pm and I have a very early morning appointment on Friday. Like I have to be there at 8:30am. I will do it! You cannot fuck with an ulcer. They can go all kinds of wrong.
 Since I have been losing weight unexpectedly..they are going to probably do a upper endoscopy and look around in my innards. I am so happy that I am losing weight and I love that my stomach is smaller and my clothes fit better. But something isnt quite right. I have not worked for it and I am still eating crap. Granted, I am eating less because my stomach hurts but what about before that? So I want to make sure everything is okay in there. It is most likely a organism causing this and I will have to take a bunch of antibiotics for it. Then it will be gone and I will be fine.
I am taking a positive approach to this.
Just sick of being in pain. The gut pain has slowly gotten worse but nothing alarming..do not worry about that. Just I know it needs to be looked at. This is the second day of a dull pain in the ass headache. I do not know if headaches are associated with ulcers or not but I have a whopper. And I shouldnt take anything cause those pills actually make the ulcer worse!
  If any of you have dealt with ulcers, you can shoot me some advice. I will let you all know what happens after my appointment on Friday.

Chilly Sunday Morning

Peanut butter 

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I made bon bons on Thursday because I had to mail some out. Today I am going to make a second batch. I have some other people to give them out too. I am hoping to make the second batch an actual double batch so that I can crank out so many that I will not have to do it again till next year. Making candy is a pain. But I like to do it because people like it so much.
  My friend, Margaret, taught me how to make them one Christmas. She used to live on our street with her hubby, Sonny. They were both ill and on disability (he was getting it from work) and they had to move away to live with their daughter. I was sad that I lost her as a friend. She was the one that told me that I might have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I went to her Dr and I was able to get some help and realize I wasnt crazy. That there was something wrong with me! I have that to thank her for. Oh and teaching me how to make these bon bons. I have changed them up over the years to suit my taste but the core of the candy is from her.
Today is Sunday and it is never a day of rest. I am continuing my saga of purging my house of crap. Fred rented a steam cleaner and I am going to toss things in the trash like I did yesterday. I want to not see the same cluttery things over and over again. I guess this is what my shrink calls my manic phase. I clean.
So I will clean today. 

No Snow...yet

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  Today is December 10, 2011. Except for that freak snow storm that we had before Halloween, not a flake in sight. It has actually been kind of warmer then normal around old CT lately. There have been days where I have been out and about in just a sweater..no coat at all. It is almost 10am and it is in the lower 40s. We have had 50s and 60s! I am happy because my electricity bill has been low so far (that will change) and I have not had to get any oil yet. I will be buying some soon because we will need it for showers and keep the pipes warm.
  After last year, I am hoping for a non snowy winter. I am not saying no snow at all. Just a few small snow storms here and there. Nothing dramatic. No blizzards or bombogenesis`. Just normal, non roof collapsing snow.
I will be bitching in the near future about snow. I am warning you now. I like it to some degree and it helps keep me in shape by shoveling it. But my husband is gonna be 46 yr old next year. He said Almost 50 last night and I felt my ass cheeks clench. He cant! He has to stay young!
So either I do all the shoveling, he gets some exercise at the gym OR I hire out. I aint got no extra money so I am guessing it is number one on that list.

Any of you want to live in CT for the winter and be my snow shoveler?

Am I a weirdo?

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 I met Fred on or around February 20, 1986. I fell in love with him very soon after that. Next year will be 26 years. I still love the man as much as I did back in the day. I smile when I see him. I get excited when I find out he has an unexpected day off. I think of things to make him happy. I give him my last $1 when he needs it and do not ask for it back. I drive three miles one way to bring him his dinner in the dead of night..Hot dinner!
  I see so many people that are unhappy in their relationships and it makes me sad. What happened to make you forget why you loved that person in the first place? Sometimes it is glaring obvious and you do not blame the loss of love. Other times it is not so. It is just that time has made things stagnant and boring. Same person every single solitary day.  I am sad when I hear or read that.
 I was fortunate to find my soul mate. Yes, I said it. He is my soul mate and you cant change my mind. Why else after all these years are we still so giddy over each other?
Granted, there was a time when life was hard and we were just not digging each other (young kids, both working, hectic life) but we still loved each other. Always and Forever like the song.
I wish everyone could feel the way we feel and have what we have. What a wonderful world that would be.
Everyone in utter love with their significant other. You both do things for each other with no alterior motives. Just pure bliss and love.

I know..Gag me! Right?

Today is the 31st anniversary of John Lennon`s assassination. I thought I would lighten the day with some love.

How to train your husband

*264* <---that is correct!


We never made it to the gym. We both got our periods this week. That is NOT a cop out either. Who wants to jump up and down on a machine when you are leaking blood? Not I. So we are going to start fresh on Monday. Seriously! We are gonna do it!

  Christmas is fast approaching. I have gotten a couple gifts for the girls, one for Raymond and nothing for Fred. I do not know what to get him. I always usually get him clothes. I do not know if that is what he truly wants. He wont tell me anything. Big Brat!

I remember our first Christmas when we had our very first apartment in downtown New London. I bought a tree and I got him a bunch of gifts. I kept waiting for him to get me some gifts to put under the tree. I had gotten him a leather jacket (for when it was warmer) and a couple new outfits. Christmas came and I opened my two presents. A set of hair trimmers and a set of hair clippers. He bought them so that I could cut his hair!! I was so sad that day. He got me a gift that was really for himself.
Let me give you some insight. Fred`s grandfather at one point became a Jehovah`s Witness. There was no birthdays or Christmas. Fred never learned how to buy gifts. When he was older, there was no money and not much of a Christmas when he lived on Crystal Ave. So NOW I know that it wasnt his fault really..he had to be trained to buy gifts.
 He tried to say that if that person loves you it doesnt matter about the gifts you get. I said BULLSHIT! It is Christmas and I get nothing. You want the person you love to feel sad and crying on Christmas? No!
 You learn what they like by listening and watching over the years. Then you may score that one GREAT Christmas in gift giving. It was four years ago...Fred got me a red Kitchenaide stand mixer. I used to hint forever but I did not nag about it cause the shit costs over $200. That was not the only present I got that year either.
Yes, Heidi accepts appliances as gifts for holidays and birthdays. And I get giddy. If I get a steam cleaner this year, I will be soooo happy!  I am a weirdo I guess.
 I will think of another Christmas story for the next time I come back. It may be happy or not.
We shall see...

Brother, can you spare a paper towel?

Ruby: 3 months

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I moved the scale and it tells me what I want to hear. LOL Natalie and I are going to the gym on Monday morning after we drop Chelsea off at work. I want to see how it looks all new and shiny and I want to lose more weight. So we are going!

See how big Miss Ruby T is doing? She is a beautiful beast, I tell you. I can take her on a walk of the street and let her run around the yard for an hour and she will come inside and crap by the bottom of the stairs. Why???
She was doing so well and now she does not even give a hint that she needs to go until the shit is plopping out of her ass. I have to be more vigilant in my work to house train her. I go through paper towels like nobodies business. A pack of 8 used to last me more then a week. I am lucky if I can make them stretch out from Friday to Friday.
She is learning not to mouth us or bite us. She is getting yelled at plenty (Ouch! or No bite!). She is steadily losing her baby teeth. Natalie found one on the couch the other day. So tiny.
She is a sweet dog but she is a puppy and puppies make old women tired.

Fred helped me clean up the diningroom a bit. It is more open and oh so less cluttered. I am happy! I re-arranged some stuff to make it more user friendly. I have to finish sweeping and then I have to mop the floor.
Today is peanut butter bon bon day. After I finish here, I am going to clean the kitchen and get started on making the yummy treats.

It has been a busy weekend....

If you do not like boobs, do not look!

*270* <--gained some but my period is coming.

   I am using this picture as my Facebook photo. Well, just her face. hehehe. I would get booted toot sweet for posting the whole picture. And I wouldnt do that cause I have friends that do not like to see or hear things like that. This is my blog and hopefully, nobody will narc on me. It is on pic and I have not slipped into the dark side!
I wanted to show Bettie Page because she was so pretty. And she risked so much back then to do what she did. It is like she was one of the first liberated women! In the 1940s!

I was able to do some Christmas shopping yesterday. There is an extra paycheck AND thanksgiving pay in this weeks check. So I paid bills, bought a few things and filled the pantry and freezer. I like extra pay check months. I have to large built onto the wall cabinets, floor to ceiling) that is my *pantry*. I do not have the traditional little room for my food like I used to growing up.  But that is okay. It is stocked full of food most of the time but when it starts to get thin, there is usually a 5 paycheck month on the horizon. I have a section just for pastas, rices, and boxed crap, one section for all things canned and jarred, third section for spices, baking supplies, and some cooking appliances, and the last one is for pet food, medications, and all my oils and vinegars and helpful potions for food.(there are alot). So I have some stuff back in there and I feel better. When I see big spaces where food used to be, I have a need to fill it.
 Today is the 3rd of December. It has been unseasonably warm here in Southeastern CT but this morning it is rather cold. I am not ready for snow. I have to buy tires for the Jeep and the thought of snow before we get those tires, scares me. I hope it holds off a little while.
I am going to be making my peanut butter bon bons today. Somewhere in last December`s blog section you can find the recipe. I have a shit ton to make for many people. I have boxes for packing also. I will be up to my ass cheeks in those things. I love to make them because friends like them and I like to give them. I really need to get done because I have a Secret Santa gift to mail out on Monday and part of this persons gift is the bon bons. I am not saying anymore just in case they read here. :)
 So that will be my day as boring as it sounds. Rounding up the pup, cleaning house, making bon bons, and thinking of something good for dinner. Fred has the weekend off. So it is cooking time for me.

Damn, I wish my knockers stood up like that? They never did.