Our First Fresh Tree

*220*

   Today I will be purchasing my first real live pine smelling Christmas tree. It will be a 3-4 footer. I dont want a super big tree cause our house is small. I think when I bought the smelly pine sticks for the tree last year, that was telling me something. All my childhood. we had a real tree for Christmas. Dad could complain about the price. He would tie it to the top of the car. The house would smell great. And needles in the carpet. I realized just recently that we stopped having fresh trees after he died in November 1983. My sister and her husband bought a fake tree for my Mom and that was that. I have had fake trees ever since. This last one is a prelit. I hate it! And it is 7 years old.. I was going to go out to buy a new fake one. But I decided to give a fresh one a try. Even if it is just for this year.

  
  Thanksgiving was good. We had a keto feast. I did eat a little pie. That is okay too. I am human. I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done. I just have to pick up a couple things for the girls. I am still kinda bah humbug but since it is the 1st of December, I will give the holiday a chance. We decided on a ham for holiday dinner. Kid #2 and I will figure out the sides later. I am trying so hard to be 100% complaiant with the foods that I am allowed to eat. I just stressed out a tad and sometimes I just say fuck it and eat something I shouldnt. I have to be strong! I have more weight to lose. I am doing so well. I have to step up my game, get sneakers, shoe inserts, and start walking.


 
    I was able to read the notes on my lower spine MRI. What I do know for sure from reading is that my L5S1 is extremely bad and my L4L5 is moderately bad. You would think I would be in more pain. I barely take a Tylenol. Lately my neck has been hurting more but I dont want to think about that. I go to the Yale Spine Center on January 3rd and we will see what the surgeon says about my issues.  I will try to leave this alone till I hear what he has to say.

 
 
 

I covered the windows too.

 In the midst of doing this post, I had left to go do errands and pick up the tree. Isnt she the cutest? I had to secure the trunk because it was too skinny for the tree stand. It is very sturdy now. It is watered and we are going to leave it be today. Let it`s branches settle. Tomorrow we will deck the little honey out. I totally love it and I will probably do this again next year. It cost $25. What a good deal!

Okay..I have a shit ton of dishes to wash plus I have to make dinner, which I hate to do. I am tired and in pain. But I will push through cause when I am done, I am gonna soak in the tub and get into the bed and watch my YouTube favorites.

Have a great rest of your week!

End of October

*219*


   I had the plan to post yesterday but the day got away from me. I had Halloweeny tasks to take care of. These are our pumpkins this year. I did not get around to carving the small ones. That is okay, they will look good on the porch stairs till Thanksgiving. I have this link for pumpkin seeds if you have not cooked yours up yet. I am going to roast today. I think I will do the cheesy one.

   Halloween was a absolute BUST. We were greeted by one trick or treater. One 5 year old treater. One! I am done. I am not decorating anymore. I am not spending hard earned money on shit nobody is going to see or enjoy. I have said it before but I am truly done this time. And if someone mentions that the 5 yr old got to see it, I will virtually smack you. I have a cauldron full of chocolate. I told the kid that we were getting rid of it. I have cheated so much on my way of eating this past week. It has to stop and the candy has to go! Maybe I will just go out next year. Make some friends at the bar while I drink my pumpkinhead ale.

   I am glad I have this outlet to talk about stuff. It seems I have lost another friend to me being sickly and no fun. I have worked really hard about not talking about my health at all because people don't want to hear it. I either have to pay a therapist to hear me or I can throw it on here. I am not gonna talk about her today. I have already been upset about it and if I really dwell, I will get depressed about it. She has moved on. She hasn't actually unfriended me (IRL or online) but you kinda know when you have been dumped. I am a Class A loser and I have to come to terms with that fact. Period. End of story.

  At least I have some good news to report. This Thursday I am having my very first Fecal Microbiata Transplant for the C-diff. Tomorrow will be a prep day. Yuck! It is being done in Rhode Island cause it was very hard to find anyone to do it here. I found out yesterday it will be done by sigmoidoscopy and I get to be awake for the whole thing! That is not exciting for me. I am told to just relax and it will be okay. Yeah no. I wont be able to relax. I have issues that I will not discuss but being awake for that is not gonna be a picnic. Hopefully, this will cure me of this garbage. I am so sick of being sick to my stomach every single day.

  Today I have to take down all the Halloween. The kitchen is a disaster, again. The dog needs to be groomed. I have to put stuff up on ebay. And I really need to start working on cleaning up the yard. The leaves are being difficult. They are still in the trees. If they dont fall soon, they will be left cause of the snows to come. I am still painting the living room but I have got all the trim done. Yay! I wanted to get that done so I could cover the windows. It will be warm this week so I will hold off, but soon they will have to be done.

That is about all I have to talk about. I don't want to dwell on shit today. Then I will lose the handful of you that actually read this and I will be left with Bots. Bots could totally be my friends though. They would love me for who I have become!

Have a great first day of November.
 

My Ass is on a Roll

*250* <---heel needs to effin heal!

 
    I have read a good portion of that blog so far. I have become motivated. I did some things and I will do some more things. I have changed my electric carrier back to the original company starting end of this month. That will save me. I am going to the gym this week to cancel BOTH our memberships and no turning back to that. Why am I paying them almost $600 a year and we dont use it?? Dummy. That is gone. After I put the money in the escrow for the insurance (end of this month), it will lower our mortgage payments by almost $300 a month.

 I also started a snowball payment list. With all the wayward bills that I could find. I can pay off that short list in two months! I have other bills but I will dig those up after this stack is paid. I want to be debt free!


DEBT FREE!

Okay, I gotta go. Cold air is coming and I have windows to cover!

Baby Steps

    I did buy something this week. But it was used so that is a plus. This cost me $20 from one of the FB resale pages. Bought in a pricey neighborhood. Hubs and I struggled to get it in the Jeepo. Okay, I struggled. Very loudly.  It is hefty piece and I am a delicate flower. (i hear you snickering! LOL) It has a few scratches on top but all an all it is a nice piece. This will go in Kid #2`s room. It will be a side table/extra room for clothes. She needs more storage space so this will help her out. It has to be wiped down. So yes..I spent.

   I found another website that is more promising to help me have motivation not to spend. It is called And Then We Saved. I just started reading it but she doesnt seem weird like some of the other places that I have read. This will help me. I am not a dumbbell but sometimes I need guidance on what to do. Point over there and will say..AHHH HAH!!  She has a spending fast set up for a year. Then you learn how much you can save. I really am gonna do this. <---she convinces herself. LOL
I am slowing down my spending now because I will start this Fast on January 1, 2015. That means I will be baking my own birthday cake. Phooey.

 
   I have much to do before it gets cold-er out. I have to bag leaves. I have to start prep for painting and then painting. I have those damn apples to peel...today. I have to cover windows before the Arctic Chill comes<----gotta order oil. So much so much so much. I would rather sit here and vegetate.
 
Still vegetating.................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................................

  I need to get motivated. Time to get up. Change my clothes. And move! Have a great Sunday!

Brother, can you spare some home heating oil?

   It was a bit nippy downstairs this morning. The heat was off and so were the heaters. It was below 60 degrees. I plan on having oil delivered on Friday or Saturday. Then my plan is to use the heaters during the day with the furnace on low, turn the heaters off at bedtime, and turn the furnace up to lie 62. Hopefully I can afford more than 50 gallons. That is how I had to do it last year. 50 gallons at a pop because oil was like $4 a gallon. I remember when the kids were small and oil was 75cents a gallon. We always had automatic delivery. We never struggled to pay the bill. We would spend about $1000 for the entire year. That included the fill up in the Spring. Those days are gone.
   I have said before that if we had the hook ups for gas heat, we would do it. But there is no connection to this house or any other on this side of the street. Not only would we have to buy a new furnace but pay to have the road ripped up, our front yard ripped up, and drilling into the house itself. It is too much to think about. I am thinking about next year getting a wood stove for in here in the dining room. I am serious about it too. Now burning wood bothers me so I need to research to find out if it will come into the house. I KNOW that sounds stupid! But meaning, the smoke goes out the smoke stack. If I do not have constant direct contact with the smoke, I could handle it. We shall see.

  We are supposed to get some snow this morning. All I see outside is wet. I think it has been said that it is too warm on the shoreline and it would quickly go to rain. It needs to because I have an errand this morning that I need to attend to. Supposedly less than an inch here. That is good. I am not in the mood.
 Going to think of something to bake today so I have an excuse to turn the oven on and utilize the heat.
I am not joking when I talk about this stuff. Home heating oil is expensive. Unless you got lots of money, you are struggling with it like we are. Heat is a luxury, my friends.
But I will freshen the tank with some and I can have it on a low simmer. That will satisfy the children.

Early First Snow

It snowed yesterday.  Here on the coast it only stuck to the grass and cars. It was pretty and nice to see for the first time. I never hate on a first snow. Some parts of the state (upper half) got wholloped. Like more than a foot of snow in some places. That has got to truly suck for the first snow. I am hoping that this winter was like last winter. Nice and global warming like. I know that is a sick thing to say but a mild winter costs less for us. It is going to be in the 60s this weekend and back to the 50s next week. Perfect weather.  Just cold enough for a light jacket.
     I have my surgery on my head in six days from today. My question appointment and my pre-op appointments are tomorrow morning.  I am nervous. I have many things to do to keep my mind occupied though. I have three more windows to cover today and then I am done. I have all my questions written down, my paperwork in my purse, and anything else I can think of. I am going to drink plenty of water today so that they do not have an issue with getting blood. I wish that I did not have these stupid leaks. I really wish this was just a big nightmare that I am going to wake up from at any moment. Onward and Upward is all I can say!
    Tomorrow I have to pick up my freebie at the grocery store. If you spend $400 in a specific time allotted, you get to choose a bunch of things. Up to a 21 lb frozen whole turkey, 10lb average hotel turkey breast, or a big assed ham on the bone. There are other things to choose like a kosher chicken, a big Stoffers vegetarian lasagna or a Tofurky. Yeah, no.
 We are trying to decide if we get the hotel turkey breast or the ham. I told them to get the ham because there is gonna be a shortage and we can cook it for Christmas. We can have roasted chickens for Thanksgiving. Nobody but me likes turkey so what is the sense. They are all trying to be nice to me. They say turkey is fine. We can have that. I will let them feel guilty. hehehe I can go downtown to a local chicken shop and get a nice turkey dinner any time I want.  Ham or turkey?

    Fred and I are going out to dinner with a friend of his from work. It seems that since this surgery came about, everyone wants to meet me or see me. It scares me sometimes. Why now all of a sudden? It is okay..I like going out to dinner. We are going to Vietnamese place across the bridge to have beef pho bowls. Really really BIG bowls of soup. We never finish but oh we try so hard. I think if we were younger, we could do it.  The great thing about this place is Fred and I can get two big bowls of soup, and some ice waters and the bill is less than $20. If we get drinks, it is about $25 (not including tip). We get to still enjoy eating out like we used to but not at the same level anymore.
 Spending $60 on dinner was nothing for us back when money was good. Now we save that for January. As you know, we go out to eat in January at one of the casinos to celebrate our birthdays and anniversary. Next year it will be 44 for me, 47 for him, and 20 years married..wow. I did not realize that! We will have been together 27 years in February.  Wow. 20 years married. That is a biggie, right? Traditional gift is China. Modern gift is Platinum. Yeah, well Fred and I do not have it to get either one. Wow. I need to think about this. You realize I just realized it is going to be 20 years..just now as I am writing this? I have to get him a special gift. Since we are not giving on Christmas, I can make it something good. :)

 I got to get moving here. I have three windows to cover today and I am a major slo poke. If you have drafty windows, think about putting up plastic window covers. It is not hard and all you need is the kit, scissors, step stool, and a hair dryer. It really makes a difference in the drafts. And you can put that seal strips stuff around the window cracks and around the doors too.

Have a great Thursday!

 

Bacon`s cookin up in the pan

*265*
Bacon cooking and I am typing.....

  Last night was a weird night. I had my first ever mini panic attack while still awake. I think it is all the stress of what is going on with me. I just came downstairs, took an extra ativan and within the hour I was fine. I was feeling okay yesterday but I can tell today is not going to be as good. My eyes are a bit more blurry then usual, I have a head ache but in the front of my face if that can be considered a head ache. I can tell that this is going to be a high pressured/leaky head kind of day. Plus it is colder. I have no problem living in a house that is a bit nippy. I put on a sweater. But I have a couple prima donnas that think they are going to die if the temp in the house dips below 70. I pulled out one heater for the livingroom because we have company. I could pull out the one for the dining room but I KNOW that Chelsea will use it from now until April. She will take it from the spot where I put it to warm the whole room so that she can have it right next to her to keep her warm. It is a major pet peeve of mine. MAJOR! Makes my teeth click.

Milo and Ruby-Best Buds

Bacon done and in the warm oven...
  Even though I am not feeling too great today, I want to get something done around here. I THINK I am going to put some plastic on windows in the house this weekend. Most definitely in my room first. Then I want to cut down all the spent flowers out in the front of the house. Clean it all out, bag it and hope the garbage guys take them. They might not cause of budget cuts. I do not know if they changed the rules or not yet. Do not worry. I am not going to over do it. I may do one or two things and then collapse in the bed and watch more Supernatural. There are 8 season and I am only in the middle of Season 3. I have a long way to go.
  I know I have to be careful, because I notice that some activities make my nose drip or it goes down my throat. I can probably bet that it has gone down in my lungs and that is why I have this slight cough. Yup, shit is running down my throat as I type. Fucker!
So it is going to be one of those lazy Saturdays that shouldnt be. I should be doing stuff man. Not laying around the house watching tv. There is much to do. It is chilly! Time to clean the yard! Time to put plastic on the windows! It is time, man! I am trying to psych myself up. I think I can do my big assed window in my bedroom today. If I can do that, I will feel accomplished.
It is all about feeling like you did something. If all you did today was dust all the tables in the house, that is something! You were not a total bum. Sick or not, we all feel like we contributed in some way.

  I guess I should wrap this post up. Natalie just made scrambled eggs and toast. I am going to eat and then I am going to go upstairs and put that plastic on the window! I am determined.

I am not feeling it.

  My house would have been Halloweened out by now. I have decorations, lights, and all the stuff needed to make you know it is a special holiday in this house. I put out the flag and I have one pumpkin on the front porch. I am NOT feeling it at all. With the lack of money and the brain thing, I just do not want to. What is the point? The kids are adults and we do not get any trick or treaters. It is like I am making more work for myself. It was fun when the kids were young because Halloween is ONE of my favorite days. My dad loved it and he passed that love onto me. I think I am just tainted lately. oh well.

  It is a chilly Columbus Day here in ole CT. It is only 41 deg F at 10am. My daughter`s boo is coming to stay with us from Thursday to Sunday. He is taking the train in here in town so there will be no traveling for me, thank goodness! But the house is a wreck. He is going to start becoming aquainted with the fact that I cannot clean like I used to and I do not have much help. I will pick up the big chunks, shampoo the carpets, and I want to put the winterization plastic in the livingroom to start. That way it wont be frigid in there at night. I need to buy a new heater for the livingroom (a bigger one) and we need to buy oil. That wont happen anytime soon. I have so many things on my plate. Two new tires for the Jeep first because we will be traveling back and forth to New Haven alot. Ugh!
So anyway....I am going to work on the livingroom AND I have two nice butternut squashes that I am going to turn into a nice thick soup. Love it. I think I will post the recipe on here for it. Post step by steps. I have not done that in a long time. It will keep my mind off stuff.
Yeah!  That sounds like a plan.

Off to wash dishes.